(no subject)

I had a great time at my wildlife rehab party! And then I came home to discover that my little tiny seramas killed two of my four baby Icelandics brutally. ;____; I feel awful... I know it's just a fluke, I had no way to know the seramas would do such a thing, but regardless I'm so sad. Those were the two with the cutest crests--the black one and white and black spotted one. Man, I just want to cry but at the same time I just want to move on and not think about it. I hate it when stuff like this happens, and keeping this many animals (and especially poultry) these sorts of things do happen every now and then. The duckling who was killed by my own birds, and I lost two hens to the guinea fowl, Salula got mutilated by one of my roosters and then eventually killed by some sort of predator after she recovered, and just...whatever. Tragic losses happen. What can I do? I can feel sad and mourn the birds I lost, I can learn from my mistakes, and that's all I can do. I just hate the conflicted feeling I get, like I want to mourn but at the same time I want to pretend it didn't happen because it hurts thinking about their deaths and thinking that I raised them from eggs and yet they'll never get to grow up because of my mistake. Really all I want to do is go back in time and prevent the tragedy from happening, but of course wishing such a thing is useless. It's too late, they've already suffered and died and there's nothing else I can do to change that.

RIP, little Icelandics. I'm so sorry you had to meet such an awful end. I'm sorry I made the mistake of putting the seramas in with you. I'm just so sorry...

--

Anyway, sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I've been busy but haven't had much to say.

(no subject)

I had a great time at my wildlife rehab party! And then I came home to discover that my little tiny seramas killed two of my four baby Icelandics brutally. ;____; I feel awful... I know it's just a fluke, I had no way to know the seramas would do such a thing, but regardless I'm so sad. Those were the two with the cutest crests--the black one and white and black spotted one. Man, I just want to cry but at the same time I just want to move on and not think about it. I hate it when stuff like this happens, and keeping this many animals (and especially poultry) these sorts of things do happen every now and then. The duckling who was killed by my own birds, and I lost two hens to the guinea fowl, Salula got mutilated by one of my roosters and then eventually killed by some sort of predator after she recovered, and just...whatever. Tragic losses happen. What can I do? I can feel sad and mourn the birds I lost, I can learn from my mistakes, and that's all I can do. I just hate the conflicted feeling I get, like I want to mourn but at the same time I want to pretend it didn't happen because it hurts thinking about their deaths and thinking that I raised them from eggs and yet they'll never get to grow up because of my mistake. Really all I want to do is go back in time and prevent the tragedy from happening, but of course wishing such a thing is useless. It's too late, they've already suffered and died and there's nothing else I can do to change that.

RIP, little Icelandics. I'm so sorry you had to meet such an awful end. I'm sorry I made the mistake of putting the seramas in with you. I'm just so sorry...

--

Anyway, sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I've been busy but haven't had much to say.

(no subject)

And now, just as bad as the Icelandics being killed, my beloved serama cockerel is missing. My mom was gone when I got home, so I assumed she had put him in with the other seramas where he belongs. (I only glanced in their pen and the little house in there obscured part of the view.) Turns out when I looked in more detail hours later, she DIDN'T put him in there and she just now told me that she left him in a cage outside that any serama can easily escape from. Obviously he wasn't in that cage when I got home, so I just thought he was in with the other seramas.

And now it's raining like crazy. :( I hunted around the property, but there are thick bushes I can't get into. That's the only place I can think that he could be, if an animal didn't get him already...

Aughhh even though he's the one that killed the others, it was just an animal instinct. I love that little guy and I really, really want him to turn up.

Mom is completely pissed-off at me, blaming me for leaving for the party even though I told her the chickens were out and I was leaving for the party. I had no idea any of this was going to happen... They were in a secure pen in a fenced area, I though the worst thing that would maybe happen was that they might get rained on a bit. It IS my fault, all of it, and I'm just really upset.

Goddamn it, I HATE these sorts of things. And mom being utterly pissed at me isn't helping, and the rain is pouring down, and I want to go in the bushes and look for him but it's pouring.

;_____; I really, really hope he turns up, or this will be even worse than it already was. This sucks so hard, aughhhhh. C'mon little guy, please please be wet but okay...

(no subject)

And now, just as bad as the Icelandics being killed, my beloved serama cockerel is missing. My mom was gone when I got home, so I assumed she had put him in with the other seramas where he belongs. (I only glanced in their pen and the little house in there obscured part of the view.) Turns out when I looked in more detail hours later, she DIDN'T put him in there and she just now told me that she left him in a cage outside that any serama can easily escape from. Obviously he wasn't in that cage when I got home, so I just thought he was in with the other seramas.

And now it's raining like crazy. :( I hunted around the property, but there are thick bushes I can't get into. That's the only place I can think that he could be, if an animal didn't get him already...

Aughhh even though he's the one that killed the others, it was just an animal instinct. I love that little guy and I really, really want him to turn up.

Mom is completely pissed-off at me, blaming me for leaving for the party even though I told her the chickens were out and I was leaving for the party. I had no idea any of this was going to happen... They were in a secure pen in a fenced area, I though the worst thing that would maybe happen was that they might get rained on a bit. It IS my fault, all of it, and I'm just really upset.

Goddamn it, I HATE these sorts of things. And mom being utterly pissed at me isn't helping, and the rain is pouring down, and I want to go in the bushes and look for him but it's pouring.

;_____; I really, really hope he turns up, or this will be even worse than it already was. This sucks so hard, aughhhhh. C'mon little guy, please please be wet but okay...