(no subject)

[pacificpikachu]

Things...will probably work out just fine, but they're stressing me out right now.

* Chemistry. Chemistry is going badly. I failed both the test and the lab exam miserably. I've done badly on all the quizzes. The labs have been going...sort of decent but not good either. I'm going to work as hard as I can on Chemistry over the weekend, but we have another test on Monday and I'm scared because if I fail this too, it's not good news. The material seems more manageable this time, but I'm still nervous because I don

It is so incredibly frustrating being an excellent student who suddenly feels she has no motivation to do anything... I mean, I got a B on the first semester of Chemistry (and it would have easily been an A except I worked too slowly on the final. It makes me feel so inferior, so unsuited to being a vet, and the fact that KK is doing so well makes me feel like I'm just being a burden and pitiful and a slacker when I ask for help and complain (and this is MY problem, not hers in the slightest). I don't know why I can't seem to do anything lately. It's not like doing homework is that incredibly difficult, but it feels that way, and even when I'm trying to work on homework my mind is elsewhere. I think I just need a break from school, but that's easier said than done because I have to be a full-time student to be on my parents' health insurance and

My parents keep saying that I need to go to a tutor, but ultimately that's not the solution... If I was working hard and didn't understand the material it would be one thing, but rather I just don't put in the time and work to understand the material, so I wouldn't even know what to ask if I did go to a tutor.

* Ughhh I owe SMJ so much money. Most of it is the shipping, as the box for the plush group auction was extremely huge and cost an insane amount by itself. D: I think I might have to ask that everyone who took part chip in a little more because it was a lot more than I expected, but I feel so guilty doing that. Once my other SMJ box comes things will be a bit better because sales and all that, but I can't help but feel that I need to cut back on collecting, and SOON. I have hardly any room in my room to begin with, so I just need to go through and weed my collection out a bit, but more importantly I need to slow way down on buying stuff. And I suck at this. I suspect that it's my obsessive/addictive gene showing itself, but I have this crazy/irrational need to have complete collections, to be impressive, to have everything that I deem adorable or beautiful or well-made. And that's just not right or healthy or even that fun.

It's not like I have to stop altogether or even anything close to that, just slow down and be more selective. I have that one item I posted about that I will pursue obsessively. I will continue to work on my Umbreon collection (which is highest priority) and Eevee and Mew plush collections. If a Larvitar plush pops up that I don't have, I'll get that, too (the chances of that are slim anyway), and I will buy the surfing Pikachu keychain from Gin when I can, but other than that... It's time to cut down to what I can afford and what I really love, instead of just packratting items for the sake of packratting them. This has gone on too long, and I need to resist temptation for once instead of just obsessively buying things and worrying about paying for them later.

* Have tons of packaging to do once I receive Box #2. TONS.

* Sleep schedule is still crazy. I was up until 4-5 AM last night, had to get up at 8 AM, and when I got home after Chemistry I watched Law & Order for a while and then took a nap. Ostensibly for an hour, but, of course, I somehow ended up sleeping from 4 PM until 11 PM instead. Again, the problem is self-control. It feels like I have none of it anymore.

* FFF I'M STILL WAY BEHIND ON COMMENTS. Want to do a friends cut because I don't feel like I have enough time to put into everyone but instead I added people because they're all totally awesome. (New people are safe, don't worry! Basically any pkmncollectors people are safe in general, actually. And anyone who I comment with on a fairly regular basis, anyone who I've met IRL, etc.) I'm not sure who I would cut anyway, but I might go through and just do a cut sometime. :/

To counterbalance the angst a bit, I'm rather enjoying driving because it means I can blast music all the time, and theoretically I could go out and do things if I didn't feel guilty doing so because of how awful I'm doing in Chemistry. I don't like having to get gas because it seems like something that occurs far to often, but other than that, driving is good. :) I am super excited about the idea of putting bumper stickers on my car. OHHH YEAH.

I am almost certainly applying for a job at Brunswick Vet in the next few days! Every time I'm there with one of my pets they tell me I should bring in a resume, so I figure it's about time I do so. I think having a job would do me a world of good, with time management skills, money, and getting to do something I enjoy. It would just be a few hours a week probably, but still.

My birthday is coming up in just over two weeks! After that, I plan on starting my Umbreon mascot costume and that is going to be FUN. *____* I'm really excited about it.

Also, I've been drawing a little lately and that makes me happy. Must finish digital Furret drawing for poke_arts and scan other drawings!

Comments

[growly.livejournal.com]

omgz Umbreon suit. :D I dunno if you know this, but I make fursuits! So if you need any help I can try and give you advice and tips. ^_^

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

YESSS I'M REALLY EXCITED!

And I was aware of that, yes! I've made a few now so I have some experience, but some help and a more experienced perspective will be really helpful! Thanks so much! ♥ animeisha, who I just added recently as well, is making a Leafeon so there will be a lot of online collaboration between the three of us hopefully. :D

I have some questions about heads to ask, actually, because I'm trying to decide between the usual Wonderflex-based head that I'm used to doing and a foam-based head like I've seen most people use.

[growly.livejournal.com]

foam is a pretty good construction method, I use it myself. :D It's much more forgiving in shape, and can take a beating, whereas plastic can be fragile sometimes (no idea how Wonderflex is, never used it). It's really comfy too, and it's both additive and subtractive and easy to modify. Don't like how something looks? Cut it off and glue on a new one!
If you take a look at the Memories in fursuit, you'll see a wealth of foam carving tutorials and whatnot :D
I'd also be happy to critique the headframe too.

I'd love to see your work! is it online anywhere?

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

That's good to know! It just seems so...flimsy, I guess, compared to Wonderflex. Wonderflex is a super-hard plastic so it's not fragile (I could probably beat someone with my Teto head), but it does make the head a bit heavy and uncomfortable so I am really thinking about trying foam out this time. Does foam hold up well to time and being carried around? I only wear my costumes a few times a year, but I like for them to hold up well to wear. Also, will I need any sort of base?

In all honesty, my main concern is those huge ears! I figured out something with my Teto costume (which has about 2' long ears) so I shouldn't be worried, but the narrow base to wide middle to narrow tips thing worries me a little bit.

I'll definitely be doing my research on foam before I start anything--thanks for the resource! And I would appreciate a critique very much once I get that far.

Yep, here's my Cosplay.com profile! Akamaru is old and experimental, but I'm reasonably happy with how everything else came out. The pictures don't do them justice! The head on Densuke is huge--it was a terror to make and it's a terror to wear, but I love it! ♥ And Boota is like a giant wearable pillow.

http://www.cosplay.com/member/70798/

[growly.livejournal.com]

Foam does hold up well. You have to be careful about drying it out thoroughly after use (lay it upside down with a fan blowing into the mask and you'll be A-OK), but it is very durable. I can sit on one of my heads with my full weight and it'll spring back into shape. xD
You don't have to use a base, but you can. I use a balaclava for a base, built over a mannequin wig form that's padded out to be larger than my head (so the inside will be big enough to fit me!)
Here are the tutorials I recommend. They're all different, so find the method that suits your working style best. :D Or take pieces from the ones you like and make your own hybrid technique!
http://community.livejournal.com/fursuit/1454047.html
http://community.livejournal.com/fursuit/1334914.html
http://www.moonfox.de/howto.htm
http://community.livejournal.com/fursuit/2393963.html
http://werevarmint.timduru.org/wvtoasthed.htm
http://www.nicodemus.org/fursuit/cfsteps.php

[astralvulpes.livejournal.com]

I've got a slight concern for Chemistry.

I've only taken the very basic class, and still have around 5 classes to work through, so it's slightly intimidating. I love science though, and it sounds interesting, so I'm hoping my interest in it won't wane and I'll be able to force myself through the work, even if it sucks.

I can definitely understand the worry about it - though, especially being pre-vet. =/ I hope you figure something out with it. My one problem class (I dropped it 3 times, passed on the fourth), was precalculus, and what helped me was just working through hours of equations, and comparing various ways of learning techniques from a stack of books.

I hope you find something that works for you - it's always discouraging when you're not doing well. *hugs*

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Yes, Chemistry is just one of those classes where you have to work extremely hard at it. At least, I do, and it's far more mathematical and inorganic than many sciences which makes it harder for me to relate to.

I think I'll figure something out soon--whether it's sticking it out and just working as hard as I possibly can to pass, or as a last-ditch thing I'll withdraw. I'm hoping to avoid that if I can, though...

Thank you. ♥ It's been hard, but ultimately I know something will work out.

[ionneos.livejournal.com]

You'll probably shoot me for this, but I actually think it's okay that you're, for lack of a better term, losing interest in chemistry. It sounds like nothing more than burnout to me. It happens with pretty much everything in life.

Unfortunately for me, I usually only give that speech when talking about writing fanfiction, so I'm not sure what to tell you since there's a time limit on this one...Just relax and calm down. Getting yourself worked up won't help anything. Take things slowly, one step at a time, and try to stay focused on your goal. And, should the test not go as hoped on Monday, remember that everything happens for a reason. You never know what could come out of bad things. And other clichés like them.

As for the SMJ problem, you shouldn't worry about that! You should know even better than I do that the people in the community are awesome. Just ask them, and I'm sure that, at the very least, the majority will give you a hand.

I definitely know how you feel about the slowing-down thing. What I've done (and has so far worked, might I add) is make three piles of cash...One being your wallet, for emergency mall trips and the like, another being solely for collecting, and the last being savings. Having only a certain amount of cash limits you, and you're much more picky about what you spend it on. Add a little bit to whatever piles you'd like with your paycheck. Make sure you always put a little bit into the savings folder, but besides that, I don't see too much harm. ^^ But, again, this is just my stupid idea, so take it as you will...

At first, when I read about you doing a friends cut, I was worried. We didn't even get much of a chance to know each other! ;-;

In conclusion to my long-winded comment, you shouldn't feel guilty for having a little bit of fun. Who knows? Maybe it's exactly what you need to get over your slump.

Oh, and since I'm horrible about remembering these things, happy birthday! ^^ I wish I kept your address, I'd send you a card...

[ionneos.livejournal.com]

Erk. I feel bad. A complete stranger like me went on a rant in an attempt to help you feel better, which was probably, um...awkward. I'm sorry. ._.

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the advice. ♥ You're right--I do just need to calm down and try to keep going, do things one problem at a time, take a deep breath. If I do badly on the test Monday, perhaps it's time to withdraw from the class, get a good job, and take a break for a semester.

That is true! I...really owe a lot, but the people on the community are always helpful, I've been weeding my collection a bit for sales, and I should be receiving a box tomorrow or Saturday that I can sell things out of. While that probably won't cover all of it, I have a while to pay (SMJ waits two weeks for payment) and I've always managed to scrape by in the past so I don't see how this is any different really. And I need to start managing money better--at the moment, the only money transactions I make are with pkmncollectors and the post office, so it's just a matter of slowing down a bit and being more picky about what I buy.

No need to worry! I wouldn't cut new people, because that's not fair. It's more people I added a while back who don't seem to have many mutual interests with mine, don't comment, and so on.

And you're right--I do need to get out and have some fun. It might make getting the homework a bit easier, really. :D

Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment! I think it got me thinking on a better track, which is incredibly helpful. It wasn't awkward at all. ♥

[pdutogepi.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear you're having a bit of a rough time at the moment. I hate it when I lack motivation for things, I'm like that a lot. It's not that I don't want to do things, it's just that I feel so un-motivated with everything I just can't bring myself to do it a lot of the time (*Though in my case it's housework ^^;*) I do hope things perk up for you soon. Maybe it's just a seasonal thing? I know sometimes the winter really effects how I feel. Last week we had a spot of nice decently spring-ish feeling weather where I am and it was amazing how perked up I felt that day.

Was that the "already won" plush group auction? If so and you need help with shipping costs, I don't mind throwing in a bit extra to help out ^^

Anyway, I really do hope things look up for you soon! And good luck with the possible job at that Vet :D
Also YAY BIRTHDAY! ♥ :D

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Yes, lack of motivation is difficult, because it seems to just compound and get worse as more and more things build up. D: Haha, I think the weather could be some part of the factor--we had a lot of snow in the last few weeks, and while that's gone now it's been raining or gray out most of the time. While I actually love rain/snow/clouds, I think after a while it does have a depressing effect on the body.

Yes, that's it! That would be really helpful, and I'll post the details on the community probably tomorrow or Saturday when box #2 arrives. I have the first box (auction 1) in, but I haven't gotten a chance to check everything over yet other than a preliminary sort-through. Most everything is in either mint or very good condition, which is a relief!

Thank you for the good thoughts and luck! ♥ I hope things get a bit better soon, too. Really I'm not in too terrible of spirits, but things compound and gradually weigh me down every now and then, and Chemistry is really doing a number on me.

[archaneah.livejournal.com]

:( Do your best!! Work super hard over the weekend. You're smart and I'm sure you'll do well if you can make yourself do the work.

If worse comes to worse, you can always withdraw. This early in the semester, universities will probably look at that and assume that something came up (as opposed to right before the deadline where they will assume you're failing). I think... Take that with a grain of salt.

Ack! I hope I haven't given you the impression that I think you're a burden! I don't think that. I just get stressed and really have to force myself to do things. And Chem makes me cranky in general, so maybe I really have been giving you that impression. But I don't think that!!

Good luck. You can do it!

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

I'm going to try to! I've been so listless lately that that makes it difficult, but I'm thinking if perhaps I go out and do something fun and energizing it might clear my mind up a bit and give me more energy to slog through Chemistry.

Yeah, I'm just nervous because I already have two Withdraws (both on Chemistry classes, UGHHH), though I suppose if they ask I can explain that a big part of the issue was all the terrible health problems I went through. Hard to get a good grade in Chemistry when you're going to the ER all the time--usually in the middle of the night. :/

Oh, no, it's not you at all! That's why I said it's MY problem! I think that's just how I'm reacting to the stress of doing badly. I think when I'm stressed out I tend to get this weird inferiority complex and start getting paranoid or something, and the erratic sleep schedule certainly doesn't help. :(

Thank you! I hope it works out.

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Chemistry is my arch-nemesis. We have been in battle for a few years now and it gets so exhausting at times. It sounds like we're similar in that way--working extremely hard on things that we care about, and lacking drive to work on things that we aren't necessarily inclined towards.

Collection weeding is sad, but sometimes I think it's just what has to happen. My collection weeding isn't actually on that large of a scale at all--a few plush here and there, some figures, but it's still hard on me because I'm such a packrat and tend to assign importance even to utterly unimportant things. XD I would never never give up collecting altogether--this is more just a reduction from AHHHH THAT'S CUTE LET'S BUY IT to OKAY, WHEN THIS ARRIVES WILL I SERIOUSLY STILL BE EXCITED ABOUT IT? because half the time by the time it gets to me I'm like "Oh. It's just this. *Sticks it in collection and forgets about it*"

I hope your collecting-related things get better soon. Just remember, part with what you can and once things in your life are more stable you'll be able to pick up collecting again. ♥

Yes, sleeping is a vice of mine. >___> I just can't seem to get on a good schedule.

Thanks! And that would be great if he gets here before my birthday! If not, don't worry about it. :D I'm so excited by seeing what you had so far, though--he looks great!

And yes it will! I can't wait to start it, eee. ♥ I think this is possibly the most excited I've been over a costume, and I always get pretty excited. But I just love Umbreon so much, so the thought of having a nice costume of it is so appealing.

[hitchi.livejournal.com]

I know what it's like to feel like you're losing your self-control to apathy, but no matter what, you are still in control of yourself. You realize you need to strap down and get it done, which is major, but now you just need to do it. Just disconnect yourself from the things that get in your way. Unplug the internet; of course, it's just as easy to plug it back in, but it will help you from going on just to check stuff. I'm really bad about naps, too, but try not to take them unless you really can't keep your eyes open. I know all this is much easier said than done, but it's worth a try.

Good luck with the job!

[mei-san.livejournal.com]

oh man, chemistry killed my love for science....don't feel too bad about it. I almost failed my biochem class last semester....

I think a tutor definitely helps though. I know you probably don't get one-on-one help in class, so a tutor can help to identify what you're weak in and maybe help to summarize the important things you need to know. I know sometimes you can get overwhelmed by the amount you need to study. And having a tutor kind of force you to focus because you're interacting with someone. It definitely helped me.

and yeah, it's just a class. Do your best. Work hard. But don't get too worked up over it. :) I should take my own advice more....