A walking contradiction
Mar. 21st, 2006 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pacificpikachuYep, that's me. I just plain don't make sense sometimes--especially not to myself. It's mystifying.
Anyway, today was...iffy, I guess you could say. Better than yesterday, but...that's not saying all that much.
I woke up, felt vaguely sick with nervousness again, but decided it wasn't nearly bad enough to take another day off school. So, I gathered my bags and such and headed out into the less-than-one-inch of snow.
My emotions went all "BAM!" on me (to quote a certain rather hysterical badfic) during zero period when I realized Cody, KK, and Nicole all weren't there. I knew I was being irrational, but I flipped out anyway and automatically assumed that they all OMG-ditched-school-together-and-were-having-endless-amounts-of-fun-without-me. Yes, I know that was ridiculous. But...hey, give me some credit! I'm going through a tough time, and what's going on in my head is currently contradicting itself and not making any sense. ._.;
So I angsted and listened to music and worked on my cat drawing during first period. It was a *little* bit of a cheer-up that I got a bunch of compliments on it, and it was even more of a *little* bit of a cheer-up when Mr. Baxter said I was doing absolutely excellent work this year, and that I should be proud. Mr. Baxter doesn't lay on random compliments for no reason, so that made me feel marginally better.
Government was...also semi-decent, barring the fact that I always go into serious wangst mode when in Government class (probably because it requires no thought, and therefore I am free to think about whatever I wish--which in this emotional state, is not a good thing). Sara (a nice girl in the class who sits in front of me) and I signed up to do a presentation on the Death Penalty (which means we got the coolest topic in the class. Most of the other ones were really vague, boring ones), and then just casually chatted for a few minutes.
Ha--I didn't have to do anything in PE 'cause I got a note from Dad saying I'm recovering from the flu. Which is pretty much true. So, I sat around and watched people run laps and proceeded to draw in my sketchbook. Another Pikachu. Again. XD;; Though this one is from behind and only takes up about 1/100th of the picture, as the majority of the picture is a land/skyscape. It's sort of a...bizarre commentary on my feelings. Somehow. Y'know, if you tilt your head and squint...or if you're just delusional like me. XD;;
At lunch, I discovered Cody was at school after all (alarm difficulties, apparently) and KK and Nicole were off on a field trip with Cartan, so a bit of my burden was lifted. And that big hug really, really helped. ^_^ Cody also decided to put my stale Lucky Charms on his ramen and eat it. O_o; Erk--ew. XD; Zoe and I spent quite a while discussing which anime would make the weirdest musicals. We decided Evangelion, FLCL, Berserk, and Hellsing would all make rather interesting musicals. Also: Totoro: The Heavy Metal Musical. Or: Kiki's Delivery Service: The Punk Rock Musical. Oh, and we apparently got someone in Anime Club totally addicted to Densha Otoko. He's seen more than me! That's exciting.
I continued to work on the cat picture and listen to music during fifth period, though I was supposed to be participating in the critique. I think Makayla and I talked, but again I don't remember what the topic was. I know part of it was regarding the Naruto and Bleach musicals, but... OH! Makayla got Tony addicted to Absolute Boyfriend. Hahahaha. I can't get over that--it's so funny. Tony and Ultimate Boyfriend might be one of the most unexpected mixes I can think of.
Sixth period...we took this huuuge poetic devices quiz. I think I did decently, despite (because I wasn't at school yesterday) the fact that it was basically a pop quiz for me. ._.; Rebecca--the girl whose paper I graded--kept complaining that she got things wrong. The class was rather boistrous about their feelings on the quiz. XD;;
Seeing as none of my friends in Anatomy were there for seventh period (Cody had a tennis match), I headed off the art room, where I mostly worked on my cat picture, but also interjected occasionally into a pretty funny conversation taking place between Mr. Baxter, Sean, Luke, and Tobey. I felt proud of myself for making snarky comments at the right times--normally, I can only think of witty things to say about two days after a conversation has taken place. I turned on the second Arjuna OST on the art room CD player and listened to that while all this was going on, too.
After school, I ate a pasty (mmm), and then had to go to the dentist. :X This wasn't so bad, though, seeing as I refuse to let him clean my teeth with that nasty gravelly stuff, he pretty much just pokes and scrapes around in my mouth. To tell the truth, the worst part of the whole ordeal was that my reading of Newsweek in the waiting room was interrupted. ;_; I love Newsweek and Time...and it's a terrible, horrible thing to bring me away from them!
We did errands for a while (Ryan got majorly peeved at me for not letting him sit in the front seat, and then peeved again when Mom bought me an Italian soda but didn't buy him one because he was whining), then headed home.
Not much happened for the first few hours of being home--shower, cleaning the cat litter, Solitaire, and other such excitement... Eventually I got some courage up and gave Cody a call, so we could chat a bit. He was talking with his sister and said he'd call back later. When he did, we...ended up having a pretty darn emotional conversation, but at least we got some things out in the open that needed to be discussed. Because I'm not making much sense, I'm causing him almost as much confusion as I'm facing myself... Darn, this is hard. I am feeling a bit better since we talked, though, even if it was a little bit of a rough conversation.
Well, it's bedtime and I'm trying my best not to read the vastly amusing articles off of capalert.com and/or discuss Wolf's Rain with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_tehriah (I want to sooo badly!), so I'd better be off before I take the temptation to do either.
Anyway, today was...iffy, I guess you could say. Better than yesterday, but...that's not saying all that much.
I woke up, felt vaguely sick with nervousness again, but decided it wasn't nearly bad enough to take another day off school. So, I gathered my bags and such and headed out into the less-than-one-inch of snow.
My emotions went all "BAM!" on me (to quote a certain rather hysterical badfic) during zero period when I realized Cody, KK, and Nicole all weren't there. I knew I was being irrational, but I flipped out anyway and automatically assumed that they all OMG-ditched-school-together-and-were-having-endless-amounts-of-fun-without-me. Yes, I know that was ridiculous. But...hey, give me some credit! I'm going through a tough time, and what's going on in my head is currently contradicting itself and not making any sense. ._.;
So I angsted and listened to music and worked on my cat drawing during first period. It was a *little* bit of a cheer-up that I got a bunch of compliments on it, and it was even more of a *little* bit of a cheer-up when Mr. Baxter said I was doing absolutely excellent work this year, and that I should be proud. Mr. Baxter doesn't lay on random compliments for no reason, so that made me feel marginally better.
Government was...also semi-decent, barring the fact that I always go into serious wangst mode when in Government class (probably because it requires no thought, and therefore I am free to think about whatever I wish--which in this emotional state, is not a good thing). Sara (a nice girl in the class who sits in front of me) and I signed up to do a presentation on the Death Penalty (which means we got the coolest topic in the class. Most of the other ones were really vague, boring ones), and then just casually chatted for a few minutes.
Ha--I didn't have to do anything in PE 'cause I got a note from Dad saying I'm recovering from the flu. Which is pretty much true. So, I sat around and watched people run laps and proceeded to draw in my sketchbook. Another Pikachu. Again. XD;; Though this one is from behind and only takes up about 1/100th of the picture, as the majority of the picture is a land/skyscape. It's sort of a...bizarre commentary on my feelings. Somehow. Y'know, if you tilt your head and squint...or if you're just delusional like me. XD;;
At lunch, I discovered Cody was at school after all (alarm difficulties, apparently) and KK and Nicole were off on a field trip with Cartan, so a bit of my burden was lifted. And that big hug really, really helped. ^_^ Cody also decided to put my stale Lucky Charms on his ramen and eat it. O_o; Erk--ew. XD; Zoe and I spent quite a while discussing which anime would make the weirdest musicals. We decided Evangelion, FLCL, Berserk, and Hellsing would all make rather interesting musicals. Also: Totoro: The Heavy Metal Musical. Or: Kiki's Delivery Service: The Punk Rock Musical. Oh, and we apparently got someone in Anime Club totally addicted to Densha Otoko. He's seen more than me! That's exciting.
I continued to work on the cat picture and listen to music during fifth period, though I was supposed to be participating in the critique. I think Makayla and I talked, but again I don't remember what the topic was. I know part of it was regarding the Naruto and Bleach musicals, but... OH! Makayla got Tony addicted to Absolute Boyfriend. Hahahaha. I can't get over that--it's so funny. Tony and Ultimate Boyfriend might be one of the most unexpected mixes I can think of.
Sixth period...we took this huuuge poetic devices quiz. I think I did decently, despite (because I wasn't at school yesterday) the fact that it was basically a pop quiz for me. ._.; Rebecca--the girl whose paper I graded--kept complaining that she got things wrong. The class was rather boistrous about their feelings on the quiz. XD;;
Seeing as none of my friends in Anatomy were there for seventh period (Cody had a tennis match), I headed off the art room, where I mostly worked on my cat picture, but also interjected occasionally into a pretty funny conversation taking place between Mr. Baxter, Sean, Luke, and Tobey. I felt proud of myself for making snarky comments at the right times--normally, I can only think of witty things to say about two days after a conversation has taken place. I turned on the second Arjuna OST on the art room CD player and listened to that while all this was going on, too.
After school, I ate a pasty (mmm), and then had to go to the dentist. :X This wasn't so bad, though, seeing as I refuse to let him clean my teeth with that nasty gravelly stuff, he pretty much just pokes and scrapes around in my mouth. To tell the truth, the worst part of the whole ordeal was that my reading of Newsweek in the waiting room was interrupted. ;_; I love Newsweek and Time...and it's a terrible, horrible thing to bring me away from them!
We did errands for a while (Ryan got majorly peeved at me for not letting him sit in the front seat, and then peeved again when Mom bought me an Italian soda but didn't buy him one because he was whining), then headed home.
Not much happened for the first few hours of being home--shower, cleaning the cat litter, Solitaire, and other such excitement... Eventually I got some courage up and gave Cody a call, so we could chat a bit. He was talking with his sister and said he'd call back later. When he did, we...ended up having a pretty darn emotional conversation, but at least we got some things out in the open that needed to be discussed. Because I'm not making much sense, I'm causing him almost as much confusion as I'm facing myself... Darn, this is hard. I am feeling a bit better since we talked, though, even if it was a little bit of a rough conversation.
Well, it's bedtime and I'm trying my best not to read the vastly amusing articles off of capalert.com and/or discuss Wolf's Rain with
_tehriah (I want to sooo badly!), so I'd better be off before I take the temptation to do either.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 03:52 am (UTC)It's okay--we watched Naruto and AMVs. It went just fine.
*Rocking out hard for the Absolute Boyfriend*
Date: 2006-03-22 07:09 am (UTC)*Taps foot*
...
*Continues tapping foot*
...oh yeah?! So what if i like it?!...*bursts into tears* I want Absolute Boyfriend! I MUST see what happens next! I MUST see more of that really cool dude with the neato clothes!! *Is a fashion freak when it comes to characters...~_@* Seriously, i'll go zombie mode on you. You and Makayla.
I dunno...*Begins tossing Pikachus from a small bag to the children of the world, to love, cherish, and devour if the urge/instict kicks in.*
In other news, feel good. Do it. Feel awesome. Today and yesterday, with the future already known. To feel positive, is like a cloud that you can touch. A cloud of memories since and past, and those that have yet to come. Now, that you have realized, the many wonders of a small gerbil, face the fact that a bear must hibernate and stand firm in opposition of the world. Stand together with friends. Strength in numbers. Naruto it up my friend. Grab your particle cannon and fire it into the sun, just to watch the fireworks. Then take a starship and travel the sea, just to be unique. Play in the sand afterwards with your friends, and realize that even with a Particle Cannon and Spaceship, friends always bring the most joy. Forever and then some. Dear friend of mine. Electric Pikachu Jutistu.
Have a good one,
El Tigre.
P.S. Absolute Boyfriend, Ultimate Boyfriend? MY Boyfriend? Wait...scratch that last one >_>...
Re: *Rocking out hard for the Absolute Boyfriend*
Date: 2006-03-23 03:49 am (UTC)Ah, I'm trying my best to keep positive. Realize that up until this life-consuming obsession with a certain person popped up, I was seriously the happiest person EVER. I still am--it's just that I'm going through a rough patch right now. Thanks a ton for all the wonderful "Feel better"-wishes, though--I appreciate it.
Ooh, I have an idea for a really, really bad fanfic! You and the Absolute Boyfriend end up falling madly in love, much to the dismay of the main character, and then...er...I don't know. Yaoi, that's what!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 03:50 am (UTC)I mean, it's been at least two years since I finished that series, and I *still* rave over that ending. It's just... :O :O :O