School problems.
Jan. 18th, 2010 05:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pacificpikachuI was feeling just a tiny bit sick, so I decided to take a nap yesterday. Slept from about 4 PM to 1 AM, woke up for three hours, and then went back to sleep at 4 AM and slept until 2 PM. I am feeling better now, albeit not very energetic, but now I have to deal with the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing for school this semester. And it starts tomorrow. FAIL, SELF, FAIL. I don't know why I do this every single semester. It's so stupid and irresponsible.
I guess the problem is that I only have six classes left that I can take at Sierra. Only three of those I can actually take now, but every semester it seems like either I don't feel up to taking those classes (Chemistry) or I can't do the classes at the times they're at (ie, extremely early in the morning an hour's drive away). See, I only have one semester of Chemistry, one semester of Calculus, two semesters of O-Chem, and two semester of Physics to do as far as undergrad work goes for my major. The other problem is, to be honest, my self-esteem and confidence in taking these classes is very low after I had a lot of problems with taking Chemistry, mostly thanks to health problems and depression, but also because it's a tough class that's a lot of hard work.
I worry I won't be able to handle these very math-based classes when I honestly think I'm still struggling with the lack of motivation and energy caused by my depression. I have trouble with hard (as in mathematical-based) science to begin with, as I have more of an English/Art/Biology type of brain and learning style, and combined with my kind of "meh" feelings despite my depression being medicated, I just feel like it would be a disaster. I really want to finish these classes and be done with them, but I'm kind of scared to take them. I just don't feel like I have the energy to put into these classes that I find so uninteresting and difficult.
I would be happy to take Calculus--I think I could handle it and finish it pretty easily--but the only time they have the one I need is at 7 AM in Rocklin. That's just not going to happen, I would have to be up at 5 AM to make that work, and I would be likely setting myself up for both failure and potentially car accidents (seeing as I am not even remotely a morning person).
I feel like it's a waste of time to keep taking classes that have nothing to do with my major. But I have to be a full-time student to qualify for my parents' medical insurance, which we can't really afford to pay for otherwise.
I honestly don't know what to do. :( There's no way I'm changing my major or aspirations--I know I can do these classes and succeed in them under the right circumstances, and I don't have much to go anyway. But I just don't feel like I can deal with the classes I need to take right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I wish I could just take a break from school and get a job for a while, but jobs are really hard to find right now.
I guess I'll just see if I can talk to a school counselor tomorrow or something... I don't know what to do. I would just sign up for some easy classes right now so I have SOMETHING, but there's currently a hold on my records because I didn't know FAFSA didn't pay for my registration this year (as it did every other year), so I owe the school money for last semester. ;___; Ughhh, I wish I could stop failing so hard.
Anyone have any thoughts or ideas? :(
I guess the problem is that I only have six classes left that I can take at Sierra. Only three of those I can actually take now, but every semester it seems like either I don't feel up to taking those classes (Chemistry) or I can't do the classes at the times they're at (ie, extremely early in the morning an hour's drive away). See, I only have one semester of Chemistry, one semester of Calculus, two semesters of O-Chem, and two semester of Physics to do as far as undergrad work goes for my major. The other problem is, to be honest, my self-esteem and confidence in taking these classes is very low after I had a lot of problems with taking Chemistry, mostly thanks to health problems and depression, but also because it's a tough class that's a lot of hard work.
I worry I won't be able to handle these very math-based classes when I honestly think I'm still struggling with the lack of motivation and energy caused by my depression. I have trouble with hard (as in mathematical-based) science to begin with, as I have more of an English/Art/Biology type of brain and learning style, and combined with my kind of "meh" feelings despite my depression being medicated, I just feel like it would be a disaster. I really want to finish these classes and be done with them, but I'm kind of scared to take them. I just don't feel like I have the energy to put into these classes that I find so uninteresting and difficult.
I would be happy to take Calculus--I think I could handle it and finish it pretty easily--but the only time they have the one I need is at 7 AM in Rocklin. That's just not going to happen, I would have to be up at 5 AM to make that work, and I would be likely setting myself up for both failure and potentially car accidents (seeing as I am not even remotely a morning person).
I feel like it's a waste of time to keep taking classes that have nothing to do with my major. But I have to be a full-time student to qualify for my parents' medical insurance, which we can't really afford to pay for otherwise.
I honestly don't know what to do. :( There's no way I'm changing my major or aspirations--I know I can do these classes and succeed in them under the right circumstances, and I don't have much to go anyway. But I just don't feel like I can deal with the classes I need to take right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I wish I could just take a break from school and get a job for a while, but jobs are really hard to find right now.
I guess I'll just see if I can talk to a school counselor tomorrow or something... I don't know what to do. I would just sign up for some easy classes right now so I have SOMETHING, but there's currently a hold on my records because I didn't know FAFSA didn't pay for my registration this year (as it did every other year), so I owe the school money for last semester. ;___; Ughhh, I wish I could stop failing so hard.
Anyone have any thoughts or ideas? :(
