pacificpikachu: (Mushishi)
[personal profile] pacificpikachu
Okay, this has seriously been a terrible two weeks. Terrible. I swear the universe is conspiring against me at this very moment, because this is the worst possible time.

So, today I have to study for my HUGE BIOLOGY FINAL--which is tomorrow. I have hundreds of pages of very dense, complex material to memorize and organize and such, plus I missed a lab practical when the ambulance took me away last Friday, so I need to make that up, too.

Last night, I took what I thought was my Prednisone to help control the whole throat-getting-really-tight-and-making-me-go-to-the-ER thing. I took the four thought-to-be-Prednisone pills and went to bed a little later because I was really tired for what was an unknown reason at the time.

When I woke up in the morning at 6 AM, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I could hardly stand up, hardly stay awake, started crying hysterically, and felt dizzier than I can describe. My whole body felt heavy, and I was (and still am, to a degree) basically a total mess.

I go check that medicine I took.

It turns out that Mom left Zanex or whatever the hell it's called in my room because the doctor wanted me to take one if my throat tightens up again (they seem to believe it's been caused by stress, even though I know for a fact it isn't because I wasn't stressed out, which I've told them a million times). And I took four pills of that instead.

Now, Zanex is a relaxant for panic attacks and such. You're supposed to take one or two. I took four. Luckily, it wasn't a dangerous dose (seriously, if I had taken a couple more who knows if I'd even be alive), but it's scary as hell and nearly impossible to study. So, the entire day I've been woozy, exhausted, sleeping on and off, feeling absolutely terrible, and at one point I even started falling asleep and I honestly, truly thought I was going to die because I literally couldn't move my body--at all--for some undetermined amount of time. I thought I was just dying right then and there. For reference, I'm not a paranoid person by any stretch of the imagination. I'm serious when I say this was scary. I can hardly even remember it now, though.

Studying has been extremely difficult. I'm doing my best. But, damn it, I am SO frustrated that this happened. The Zanex looked to me pretty much exactly like the Prednisone pills, and because Prednisone was the only medicine in my room previously, I didn't even think to check the label.

Gah, why? Seriously, why did this have to happen? I'm still totally woozy and messed-up and studying is nearly impossible in the state I'm in.

I can't understand for the life of me why anyone would voluntarily subject themselves to this stuff. This is why I'll never even drink any alcohol. More than anything in the world, I hate feeling like I can't control myself.

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pacificpikachu

February 2022

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