Test, auction, Tia

Chem test tomorrow, AND flail-worthy auction ending in the morning, AND poor Tia is injured = a little stressful. Not too stressful, because at least this time I'm feeling somewhat prepared for the test and not like it'll be automatic FAIL, and my max bid on the auction is...high, but still.

As for Tia (who is our black lab mix, for those new to the f-list), mom put her out in the kennel we have outside for an hour or two yesterday and when she brought her back in she was limping badly. Now she won't even stand up. :( She refuses to put weight on one of her front paws, and when I pull her to her feet she splays her back legs and then sits back down. I felt all up and down her leg/shoulder for any swelling or anything else abnormal but I can't find anything. She does have her third eyelid up on the same side as the injury, though, which strikes me as strange. This is all on top of the fact that she already had a persistent cough and has been on antibiotics for that, and she keeps shivering. Gah, I wish I knew what was wrong. I need to get that vet job so I can get more experience dealing with mammals. Anyway, she'll be going to the vet tomorrow or the next day if she doesn't improve soon. She'll probably be just fine, but it's hard not to worry a little, especially because she is around nine years old now.

That's about it. I'm looking forward to NOT studying like crazy for most of my spare time when this test is over, though I will definitely be working much harder in the class than I was before this weekend. Apparently I am now capable of doing copious amounts of homework again. :O Let's hope that'll be enough to make up for my mess-ups in the first few weeks...

On another note, SMJ box WILL be here tomorrow (or, rather today as it's after midnight)! Woo, big SMJ box! Opening big huge boxes is the best thing ever. Going to sort through it all and have a grand old time, then I need to do some hardcore sales because I owe SMJ an organ or two by now, especially if I win the auction I'm flailing over.

Test, auction, Tia

Chem test tomorrow, AND flail-worthy auction ending in the morning, AND poor Tia is injured = a little stressful. Not too stressful, because at least this time I'm feeling somewhat prepared for the test and not like it'll be automatic FAIL, and my max bid on the auction is...high, but still.

As for Tia (who is our black lab mix, for those new to the f-list), mom put her out in the kennel we have outside for an hour or two yesterday and when she brought her back in she was limping badly. Now she won't even stand up. :( She refuses to put weight on one of her front paws, and when I pull her to her feet she splays her back legs and then sits back down. I felt all up and down her leg/shoulder for any swelling or anything else abnormal but I can't find anything. She does have her third eyelid up on the same side as the injury, though, which strikes me as strange. This is all on top of the fact that she already had a persistent cough and has been on antibiotics for that, and she keeps shivering. Gah, I wish I knew what was wrong. I need to get that vet job so I can get more experience dealing with mammals. Anyway, she'll be going to the vet tomorrow or the next day if she doesn't improve soon. She'll probably be just fine, but it's hard not to worry a little, especially because she is around nine years old now.

That's about it. I'm looking forward to NOT studying like crazy for most of my spare time when this test is over, though I will definitely be working much harder in the class than I was before this weekend. Apparently I am now capable of doing copious amounts of homework again. :O Let's hope that'll be enough to make up for my mess-ups in the first few weeks...

On another note, SMJ box WILL be here tomorrow (or, rather today as it's after midnight)! Woo, big SMJ box! Opening big huge boxes is the best thing ever. Going to sort through it all and have a grand old time, then I need to do some hardcore sales because I owe SMJ an organ or two by now, especially if I win the auction I'm flailing over.

(no subject)

Well, so much for sleeping. Not only have I not been able to sleep to begin with and there are only two and a half hours until the auction ends, mom is already thinking about the possibility of having to put Tia down.

...

I'm not going to jump to those sorts of conclusions until she's seen a vet, and even if she's had a stroke (which is one of the first things I thought about when I saw her third eyelid partially up on only one eye) they can generally recover, but. Goddammit. She can't walk at all at the moment, or even stand. If we do end up having to put her down, that will be a huge blow to our family, and to be honest I'm not fully recovered from putting Lily down, even though that was over two years ago. I just hope it's something Tia can recover from. I really, really do. Think good thoughts for her, please.

How am I supposed to take the Chemistry exam with this thought in my head? Just as I felt like things were starting to look up, there's a chance they'll all fall apart again...

EDIT: Oh, I had forgotten that she has Lyme disease, and there's a possibility that's flaring up. Same things apply and the diagnosis still might not be good, but at least this makes more sense... I'm hoping this severe of a problem is treatable. :(

EDIT 2: Talking to mom, things are sounding even worse, because she's big enough that only my brother can carry her, so even if she can recover what we'll do until then is kind of up in the air. I'm not giving up hope yet by any means, but there's definitely a possibility today will be goodbye... I can't even grasp that at all--not so suddenly. I only heard about this yesterday morning. I don't even know what to do about my exam at all. I don't know if I can study at all in this state, and I'm not sure my professor would allow a retake... I don't even know what to do at all. I can't stop crying.

EDIT 3: And on a minor note, I lost the auction as well. It went way too high, even for my super-insane Umbreon-loving self. D: Man, I underestimated Umbreon fever, and I have it pretty bad! (My max bid: $150. For a phone strap. YEAH. Would've probably gone higher if I could've, too.)

Been crying and crying and now I feel sick. I hope there's still a chance for Tia.

(no subject)

Well, so much for sleeping. Not only have I not been able to sleep to begin with and there are only two and a half hours until the auction ends, mom is already thinking about the possibility of having to put Tia down.

...

I'm not going to jump to those sorts of conclusions until she's seen a vet, and even if she's had a stroke (which is one of the first things I thought about when I saw her third eyelid partially up on only one eye) they can generally recover, but. Goddammit. She can't walk at all at the moment, or even stand. If we do end up having to put her down, that will be a huge blow to our family, and to be honest I'm not fully recovered from putting Lily down, even though that was over two years ago. I just hope it's something Tia can recover from. I really, really do. Think good thoughts for her, please.

How am I supposed to take the Chemistry exam with this thought in my head? Just as I felt like things were starting to look up, there's a chance they'll all fall apart again...

EDIT: Oh, I had forgotten that she has Lyme disease, and there's a possibility that's flaring up. Same things apply and the diagnosis still might not be good, but at least this makes more sense... I'm hoping this severe of a problem is treatable. :(

EDIT 2: Talking to mom, things are sounding even worse, because she's big enough that only my brother can carry her, so even if she can recover what we'll do until then is kind of up in the air. I'm not giving up hope yet by any means, but there's definitely a possibility today will be goodbye... I can't even grasp that at all--not so suddenly. I only heard about this yesterday morning. I don't even know what to do about my exam at all. I don't know if I can study at all in this state, and I'm not sure my professor would allow a retake... I don't even know what to do at all. I can't stop crying.

EDIT 3: And on a minor note, I lost the auction as well. It went way too high, even for my super-insane Umbreon-loving self. D: Man, I underestimated Umbreon fever, and I have it pretty bad! (My max bid: $150. For a phone strap. YEAH. Would've probably gone higher if I could've, too.)

Been crying and crying and now I feel sick. I hope there's still a chance for Tia.

Goodbye, Tia.

Thank you so much to everyone who left a comment on the last post. I feel so fortunate to have friends like you guys. ♥

We put Tia down this morning. Dr. Schuff said that it was either neurological damage or cancer, and that we could have put her through a battery of tests but the chances were slim that she would ever be able to walk again regardless, and the tests would probably just tell us that the problems were too severe. She whined and whined all night (which broke my heart) and by the morning she could hardly even lift her head. I sat with her head in my lap in the car on the way there, and I stayed with her as she fell asleep before they put her down. I left the room when they gave her the final injection--because I had some memories from putting Lily down that haunted me, and I didn't want to go through that again--but I was with her until the moment that she fell asleep for the last time, petting her and telling her over and over again that she was a good girl. Mom stayed with her through all of it. The whole process was very peaceful.

Honestly... I'm in denial about it, I think. I just can't understand that she's gone except in fleeting moments where I understand it in little bits and pieces. It's going to be a while until I accept it all the way, and it's going to be extremely tough. It was just so sudden, and unexpected. I miss her so much already, and the parts of the house she frequented seem so empty and lonely. I've already cried myself into near sickness and I know the tears aren't anywhere close to being over.

But, ultimately, I feel good about her life. She had behavior problems, so it would have been so easy for her to have been put down long ago, without the happiness of having a family who loved her around her, and without having lived out her life. It was obvious that all she wanted in her life was to be with someone who wouldn't leave her. Her first family dumped her when she was five, and if we hadn't saved her I have few doubts that she would have been put down at the shelter due to her problems with other dogs. Instead she had five and a half years of sleeping on our beds with us, playing with Lily and Hana, and going on walks, and so I will never regret how she lived, nor how she died--she went peacefully, in her sleep, surrounded by those she loved, and she didn't have to suffer for very long.

The thought of never getting to see her again, though, never getting to pet her, snuggle with her, play with her, take her for walks... It's so, so hard. I feel like she'll still look in my bedroom door any minute, asking with her eyes to be let in, and wagging her tail when I tell her she's a good girl.

I'll probably be doing a more detailed post on her sometime in the next day or two.

Goodbye, Tia.

Thank you so much to everyone who left a comment on the last post. I feel so fortunate to have friends like you guys. ♥

We put Tia down this morning. Dr. Schuff said that it was either neurological damage or cancer, and that we could have put her through a battery of tests but the chances were slim that she would ever be able to walk again regardless, and the tests would probably just tell us that the problems were too severe. She whined and whined all night (which broke my heart) and by the morning she could hardly even lift her head. I sat with her head in my lap in the car on the way there, and I stayed with her as she fell asleep before they put her down. I left the room when they gave her the final injection--because I had some memories from putting Lily down that haunted me, and I didn't want to go through that again--but I was with her until the moment that she fell asleep for the last time, petting her and telling her over and over again that she was a good girl. Mom stayed with her through all of it. The whole process was very peaceful.

Honestly... I'm in denial about it, I think. I just can't understand that she's gone except in fleeting moments where I understand it in little bits and pieces. It's going to be a while until I accept it all the way, and it's going to be extremely tough. It was just so sudden, and unexpected. I miss her so much already, and the parts of the house she frequented seem so empty and lonely. I've already cried myself into near sickness and I know the tears aren't anywhere close to being over.

But, ultimately, I feel good about her life. She had behavior problems, so it would have been so easy for her to have been put down long ago, without the happiness of having a family who loved her around her, and without having lived out her life. It was obvious that all she wanted in her life was to be with someone who wouldn't leave her. Her first family dumped her when she was five, and if we hadn't saved her I have few doubts that she would have been put down at the shelter due to her problems with other dogs. Instead she had five and a half years of sleeping on our beds with us, playing with Lily and Hana, and going on walks, and so I will never regret how she lived, nor how she died--she went peacefully, in her sleep, surrounded by those she loved, and she didn't have to suffer for very long.

The thought of never getting to see her again, though, never getting to pet her, snuggle with her, play with her, take her for walks... It's so, so hard. I feel like she'll still look in my bedroom door any minute, asking with her eyes to be let in, and wagging her tail when I tell her she's a good girl.

I'll probably be doing a more detailed post on her sometime in the next day or two.