Back to "normal" (Quotes referencing that I'm not usually normal)

Back at Dad's, so expect entries again. It's really weird being back to not having internet at Mom's... I need a phone jack to be installed in my room before I can connect. @_@

Things are basically better, and now that I got some things off my chest during my...er...breakdown or whatever it could be called, the situation is possibly better than it was before. There are still some important conversations that need to happen, probably this weekend, but other than that...things are pretty good. There is a certain level of understanding.

I feel bad to not mention what it is that happened and why it affected me so much--realize, though, that when it comes to really tough emotional issues, I'm a hermit. I don't want anyone else to know, I just want to deal with them myself so they don't become complicated. I hope you can all understand that--demanding to know what's going on, or trying to get me to confide in you will probably get you nowhere unless I already have intentions of talking to you about it. So don't be offended or worried. I've always done well on my own, and whenever I need help, I can usually ask for it. I appreciate all of you offering to help, though.

The last few days have been just fine... I'm never quite sure how the days were until I write about them.

I'm currently loaded down with anime. XD;; This is not a bad thing, but I have a lot. I mean, we're talking about one hundred hours or something.

I've decided I'm totally obsessed with Gankutsuou. I've seen three episodes. Three episodes, and I'm already addicted. Not only is it probably the prettiest thing I've seen in my life, it's oh-so-intriguing. *_* Did I mention I've only seen three episodes? OMG. It is ultimate love. ♥ Sooo...I have five more episodes of that to watch (volume three comes out on my birthday! :D).

I also have fifty episodes of Bleach, I just got all of Saikano in the mail today, and I also have Fullmetal Alchemist movie, all of Tsubasa Chronicle, all of Yami no Matsuei, and...and...ack, I don't even remember all the anime I have to watch. I'm not going to bother listing. I'm also happy because Target finally shipped my Evangelion box set, which I've been waiting for them to ship since the day after Christimas. Took 'em long enough!

...Ack, one sec--I've become intrigued by a documentary on the Jersey Devil and other cryptids. I guess I'll have to write this entry during the commercial breaks. ^^;

Yesterday we went to the Japanese exchange student orientation. I'm so excited to get my exchange student--he comes next Friday! :D They basically just told us a bunch of cultural stuff, most of which I already knew thanks to watching so much anime. Anyway, it's going to be fun hosting him, especially if he's a manga artist (which he seems to be).

Zoe and I had so much fun yesterday during art. We were flipping through National Geographics looking for pictures of shirtless fat men (for the anti-outies project, in case you're wondering), and we started giving each other entirely random pictures from the National Geographic, saying "This is a present for you." For some reason, this was so funny to us we laughed so hard our stomaches hurt, we were crying, and we couldn't stop. Makayla and Kathryn watched in fascination. We're so weird.

Humphers needs to learn how to count. He keeps making us run the mile, and he keeps saying he'll reduce it by a quarter mile every day, but we've run the mile three days in a row now. WTF?

I know there are more stories to tell about the last few days, but I don't really feel like writing any more.

Awww man--I just found out that one of our anime convention friends was killed. ;_; He was the Chouji cosplayer we met last year, from our area. He was such a nice guy...he was Nicole's good friend. She's actually at his funeral right now. I didn't know him that well, actually, but he seemed like such a cool guy when I did meet him. He was hit by a car in San Francisco...only 23, too. How sad...

Back to "normal" (Quotes referencing that I'm not usually normal)

Back at Dad's, so expect entries again. It's really weird being back to not having internet at Mom's... I need a phone jack to be installed in my room before I can connect. @_@

Things are basically better, and now that I got some things off my chest during my...er...breakdown or whatever it could be called, the situation is possibly better than it was before. There are still some important conversations that need to happen, probably this weekend, but other than that...things are pretty good. There is a certain level of understanding.

I feel bad to not mention what it is that happened and why it affected me so much--realize, though, that when it comes to really tough emotional issues, I'm a hermit. I don't want anyone else to know, I just want to deal with them myself so they don't become complicated. I hope you can all understand that--demanding to know what's going on, or trying to get me to confide in you will probably get you nowhere unless I already have intentions of talking to you about it. So don't be offended or worried. I've always done well on my own, and whenever I need help, I can usually ask for it. I appreciate all of you offering to help, though.

The last few days have been just fine... I'm never quite sure how the days were until I write about them.

I'm currently loaded down with anime. XD;; This is not a bad thing, but I have a lot. I mean, we're talking about one hundred hours or something.

I've decided I'm totally obsessed with Gankutsuou. I've seen three episodes. Three episodes, and I'm already addicted. Not only is it probably the prettiest thing I've seen in my life, it's oh-so-intriguing. *_* Did I mention I've only seen three episodes? OMG. It is ultimate love. ♥ Sooo...I have five more episodes of that to watch (volume three comes out on my birthday! :D).

I also have fifty episodes of Bleach, I just got all of Saikano in the mail today, and I also have Fullmetal Alchemist movie, all of Tsubasa Chronicle, all of Yami no Matsuei, and...and...ack, I don't even remember all the anime I have to watch. I'm not going to bother listing. I'm also happy because Target finally shipped my Evangelion box set, which I've been waiting for them to ship since the day after Christimas. Took 'em long enough!

...Ack, one sec--I've become intrigued by a documentary on the Jersey Devil and other cryptids. I guess I'll have to write this entry during the commercial breaks. ^^;

Yesterday we went to the Japanese exchange student orientation. I'm so excited to get my exchange student--he comes next Friday! :D They basically just told us a bunch of cultural stuff, most of which I already knew thanks to watching so much anime. Anyway, it's going to be fun hosting him, especially if he's a manga artist (which he seems to be).

Zoe and I had so much fun yesterday during art. We were flipping through National Geographics looking for pictures of shirtless fat men (for the anti-outies project, in case you're wondering), and we started giving each other entirely random pictures from the National Geographic, saying "This is a present for you." For some reason, this was so funny to us we laughed so hard our stomaches hurt, we were crying, and we couldn't stop. Makayla and Kathryn watched in fascination. We're so weird.

Humphers needs to learn how to count. He keeps making us run the mile, and he keeps saying he'll reduce it by a quarter mile every day, but we've run the mile three days in a row now. WTF?

I know there are more stories to tell about the last few days, but I don't really feel like writing any more.

Awww man--I just found out that one of our anime convention friends was killed. ;_; He was the Chouji cosplayer we met last year, from our area. He was such a nice guy...he was Nicole's good friend. She's actually at his funeral right now. I didn't know him that well, actually, but he seemed like such a cool guy when I did meet him. He was hit by a car in San Francisco...only 23, too. How sad...

Saikano

Because my emotions decided to go haywire on me again (not badly--just the usual type of emotional issues), I decided to pop in the first disk of Saikano (of two in the boxset, for the record, so it contains seven episodes), y'know...just to watch the theme song and check out the menus and stuff. I had a feeling I would end up watching it, so I placed a limit of three episodes.

Six episodes later, I finally turned it off, and now I'm fighting the urge to watch more.

It's really...it's different from most of the shows I watch. It's basically shoujo, but it's also a war story, so...yeah. It's well-done and sad so far, and from what I've heard about the series it just gets sadder and sadder. I didn't like the art style at first, as the character's little nub-noses and eternal "blushes" bothered me, but by now that's ceased to be any sort of factor at all.

I can identify with it fairly well--in fact, during it, I kept having to rewind scenes because something a character said or did would send me into thinking about my own situations. It was interesting, having something do that to me. It's not like the character's situations really apply to me or anything (especially not with the whole ultimate weapon thing), but sometimes their behaviors, philosophies, or ideas strike a bit of a chord.

Anyway, it's good so far. I wonder if it'll make me cry...? I always wonder that when I start a series that's supposed to be as sad as this one. We'll see.

I'm kind of lonely again... It sometimes concerns me how I overreact to things now. I never, ever, ever used to make big deals out of anything. I wish the Gatsby Party wasn't tonight so I could talk to someone, but it is, and Cody decided to go to it, so...yeah. I'm sorry how weird I'm being, friends. It just comes and goes and I can't really help it. I'm...just kinda sad because Nicole, KK, and Cody were all hanging out and having a great time the other night, and I didn't get to come, which I know isn't a big deal at all, but... I kind of have a "being left behind" phobia, I guess, and the more I love people, the more I fear they'll change or leave me behind. I know reasonably it's not going to happen, I know they'll never abandon me...but I can't help but feel sort of disconnected from the rest of the world sometimes. I also tend to place very high priority on being there for all the bonding moments, all the memories, all the emotions with my friends. I feel like I could lose them if I don't. I guess, like Ritsuka, I worry that things will just change some day and suddenly everything will just be gone, so I have to spend time with people as much as I can.

Okay, that's my *wangst* for the night. I swear once some things are clarified and hopefully situations change I'll be back to my normal self. I'm just one of those people who either becomes consumed by feelings or just shuts off and doesn't feel them at all, and when I become consumed...it's like my entire world start revolving around things that it probably shouldn't. Sympathy's not needed--I snap in and out of these emotions very quickly, so I imagine in an hour or so I may be feeling much, much better. It just depends what the situation ends up being, as the slightest thing sets me off if it's in the right subject matter.

Saikano

Because my emotions decided to go haywire on me again (not badly--just the usual type of emotional issues), I decided to pop in the first disk of Saikano (of two in the boxset, for the record, so it contains seven episodes), y'know...just to watch the theme song and check out the menus and stuff. I had a feeling I would end up watching it, so I placed a limit of three episodes.

Six episodes later, I finally turned it off, and now I'm fighting the urge to watch more.

It's really...it's different from most of the shows I watch. It's basically shoujo, but it's also a war story, so...yeah. It's well-done and sad so far, and from what I've heard about the series it just gets sadder and sadder. I didn't like the art style at first, as the character's little nub-noses and eternal "blushes" bothered me, but by now that's ceased to be any sort of factor at all.

I can identify with it fairly well--in fact, during it, I kept having to rewind scenes because something a character said or did would send me into thinking about my own situations. It was interesting, having something do that to me. It's not like the character's situations really apply to me or anything (especially not with the whole ultimate weapon thing), but sometimes their behaviors, philosophies, or ideas strike a bit of a chord.

Anyway, it's good so far. I wonder if it'll make me cry...? I always wonder that when I start a series that's supposed to be as sad as this one. We'll see.

I'm kind of lonely again... It sometimes concerns me how I overreact to things now. I never, ever, ever used to make big deals out of anything. I wish the Gatsby Party wasn't tonight so I could talk to someone, but it is, and Cody decided to go to it, so...yeah. I'm sorry how weird I'm being, friends. It just comes and goes and I can't really help it. I'm...just kinda sad because Nicole, KK, and Cody were all hanging out and having a great time the other night, and I didn't get to come, which I know isn't a big deal at all, but... I kind of have a "being left behind" phobia, I guess, and the more I love people, the more I fear they'll change or leave me behind. I know reasonably it's not going to happen, I know they'll never abandon me...but I can't help but feel sort of disconnected from the rest of the world sometimes. I also tend to place very high priority on being there for all the bonding moments, all the memories, all the emotions with my friends. I feel like I could lose them if I don't. I guess, like Ritsuka, I worry that things will just change some day and suddenly everything will just be gone, so I have to spend time with people as much as I can.

Okay, that's my *wangst* for the night. I swear once some things are clarified and hopefully situations change I'll be back to my normal self. I'm just one of those people who either becomes consumed by feelings or just shuts off and doesn't feel them at all, and when I become consumed...it's like my entire world start revolving around things that it probably shouldn't. Sympathy's not needed--I snap in and out of these emotions very quickly, so I imagine in an hour or so I may be feeling much, much better. It just depends what the situation ends up being, as the slightest thing sets me off if it's in the right subject matter.

Meh.

I don't have much of anything else to do at the moment, and I'm trying not to watch anime because I don't want to finish any of it, so I'll fill out this meme that I got from lilypeters. Woo.

( Survey...just 'cause I like filling them out )

Meh.

I don't have much of anything else to do at the moment, and I'm trying not to watch anime because I don't want to finish any of it, so I'll fill out this meme that I got from lilypeters. Woo.

( Survey...just 'cause I like filling them out )