Saikano

Feb. 24th, 2006 08:54 pm
pacificpikachu: (Default)
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Because my emotions decided to go haywire on me again (not badly--just the usual type of emotional issues), I decided to pop in the first disk of Saikano (of two in the boxset, for the record, so it contains seven episodes), y'know...just to watch the theme song and check out the menus and stuff. I had a feeling I would end up watching it, so I placed a limit of three episodes.

Six episodes later, I finally turned it off, and now I'm fighting the urge to watch more.

It's really...it's different from most of the shows I watch. It's basically shoujo, but it's also a war story, so...yeah. It's well-done and sad so far, and from what I've heard about the series it just gets sadder and sadder. I didn't like the art style at first, as the character's little nub-noses and eternal "blushes" bothered me, but by now that's ceased to be any sort of factor at all.

I can identify with it fairly well--in fact, during it, I kept having to rewind scenes because something a character said or did would send me into thinking about my own situations. It was interesting, having something do that to me. It's not like the character's situations really apply to me or anything (especially not with the whole ultimate weapon thing), but sometimes their behaviors, philosophies, or ideas strike a bit of a chord.

Anyway, it's good so far. I wonder if it'll make me cry...? I always wonder that when I start a series that's supposed to be as sad as this one. We'll see.

I'm kind of lonely again... It sometimes concerns me how I overreact to things now. I never, ever, ever used to make big deals out of anything. I wish the Gatsby Party wasn't tonight so I could talk to someone, but it is, and Cody decided to go to it, so...yeah. I'm sorry how weird I'm being, friends. It just comes and goes and I can't really help it. I'm...just kinda sad because Nicole, KK, and Cody were all hanging out and having a great time the other night, and I didn't get to come, which I know isn't a big deal at all, but... I kind of have a "being left behind" phobia, I guess, and the more I love people, the more I fear they'll change or leave me behind. I know reasonably it's not going to happen, I know they'll never abandon me...but I can't help but feel sort of disconnected from the rest of the world sometimes. I also tend to place very high priority on being there for all the bonding moments, all the memories, all the emotions with my friends. I feel like I could lose them if I don't. I guess, like Ritsuka, I worry that things will just change some day and suddenly everything will just be gone, so I have to spend time with people as much as I can.

Okay, that's my *wangst* for the night. I swear once some things are clarified and hopefully situations change I'll be back to my normal self. I'm just one of those people who either becomes consumed by feelings or just shuts off and doesn't feel them at all, and when I become consumed...it's like my entire world start revolving around things that it probably shouldn't. Sympathy's not needed--I snap in and out of these emotions very quickly, so I imagine in an hour or so I may be feeling much, much better. It just depends what the situation ends up being, as the slightest thing sets me off if it's in the right subject matter.

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