pacificpikachu | RIP, Eugenie.

Ah, another death... Man, the last few months have been brutal with animal deaths.

This time it was Eugenie, my rouen duck. By all indications, I believe she simply died of old age. I had her for around seven years, and rouens are a heavy meat breed of duck, so they don't generally live for very long. (Smaller ducks can live up and into their 20s, though.) She had a good, fairly long, happy life, so I can't say I have any regrets. The only sad thing is that her son, Pen-Pen, might be lonely without her. (It doesn't help that currently the east indies ducks are trying to mate with him by mobbing him. =___=) I'm hoping Pen-Pen will be all right without her, as he has a crooked neck that makes him maybe less confident than he would be otherwise, and he and his mom were always together.

It may seem strange that sometimes I react strongly to animal deaths, and other times I do just fine. In this case, of course I'm sad and I will miss her, but I am not upset. I actually cope very well for the most part with certain animal deaths, and those are deaths of old age, and deaths that I feel there is no way I could have prevented. It's those that are premature, that I could have done something about or feel maybe I could have, and ones that I never expected, that really hurt me and haunt me. Deaths of old age, or deaths where I did everything I could... Well, I can accept that, though some times are harder than others. I have had far, far more exposure to death than your average person. I have had literally hundreds of animals die in my life. Not just pets, but wild animals I was caring for, too. Wildlife rehab has only a 50% survival rate at best, so you have to become somewhat comfortable with death, to an extent. I've had animals die in my hands. I've put animals to sleep by myself. I've made the decision many times. I've discovered more animals dead than I can count. I've caused the deaths of animals on accident multiple times, and I acknowledge that.

Death is real, and it's something every creature faces. We can only hope that those we love, human and animal, can live long lives and die peacefully. Those lives and deaths can be celebrated, in a way. Many other kinds of deaths happen, too, though, and we can only accept those the best we can. Sometimes it will hurt a little forever, though. Life really does come in cycles. Where Eugenie's body was placed, wild animals can eat it if they choose, and what they leave behind will nourish plants that another animal can eat. All that was left of Birch, my hen who died a few days ago, was a few feathers. That was a nice thing to see, in a strange way, for it was probably a good day for another animal, although it was a horrible one for Birch and I.

Rest in peace, Eugenie. I loved you. Thank you for spending all the years of your life with me. ♥

EDIT: One of my incredibly kind Wildlife Rehab friends passed away today as well. I'm so sad for his family, and I'll miss his smile and laugh. I hadn't seen him in a while, but I certainly spent time with him and his wife, Ellyn, who was also very active in Wildlife Rehab, until they moved to Southern California. Keith was so wonderful, always smiling and laughing, and he cared deeply about the animals. I hope I'll get to see Ellyn again sometime, and that she's holding up all right. I've been writing her messages on Caring Bridge since yesterday, when I found out that Keith wasn't doing well.