CAP Alert

[pacificpikachu]

Oh, here's something I have been meaning to post!

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/

This site is HILARIOUS.

Basically: Fundamentalist Christians review movies and proceed to outline every single thing they find morally questionable in said movies. Including things that require a very large stretch of the imagination to be considered morally questionable. They also want you to donate money to their "charitable" work.

I highly recommend finding your favorite movies and seeing what they see wrong with it. Share the most amusing lines. :'D Hours of entertainment! archaneah linked this site to me years ago, and it is still high on my amusement radar.

- guzzling
- anatomical reference
- parasite penetration into a human head
- claiming man is an ape descendant, repeatedly
- unsafe rock climbing by teens
- rock climbing peril
- body exudates
- free food as temptation to submit
- punk dress
- man in tub
- hypnosis of a toddler
- eating manure (in a Bug's Life, mind you XD)
- sexual climax by divine power
- unholy object manipulation
- encouraging sadness
- mischief by adolescent
- decayed human remains talking and giving instructions
- sounds of chomping
- a boy forcing a berry into the mouth of a little girl (Spirited Away)

Comments

[growly.livejournal.com]

Holy Web 1.0 Batman!

I'm gonna have fuuuun with this later. xD

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Trust me, you will have a grand time! It's even better than it sounds. Enjoy! :D

[kyogres.livejournal.com]

I've seen this before. I think it would be highly amusing to review movies like that.

I'm okay with over-the-top movie reviews when it comes to violence/drama (it could be useful to parents with really small kids who are easily scared) but the rest of it... lol

The Pokemon movie says that someone was in a "sensual position". I have watched that movie dozens of times and I have no idea what they're talking about.

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

I think so, too, hahaha. I love some of the phrases they use in the reviews. I could never do this with a straight face, fff.

I think there's a big difference between "Hey, this might freak your kids out. Probably too dark for kids under 12, pass on it with your family!" and warning for things like "suggestive eye movement" and "chomping sound."

I agree about the sensual position! What the hell? I seriously cannot think of a single instance. I can pretty much play the movie in my head and I'm pretty sure no sensual positions exist.

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

Lol. They reviewed SAVED! Missing the point much?

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

And Prince of Egypt, among other things, hahaha! XD So silly.

[yaoi-queen.livejournal.com]

101 Dalmations (the original Disney cartoon):

"Some sexual material was noted in abundant cleavage exposure, introducing an actress by showing first her legs then the rest of her, and partial nudity in a painting. Thus Sex/Homosexuality (S) lost a few points."

O_O WHAT?! XD

Dude, I'm gonna have so much fun with this site. Thanks for sharing. ;)

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

ROFL, really? I mean, seriously? Somehow I'm not surprised, though. CAP Alerts really can find fault with anything pretty much.

Enjoy! I know I do. ;)

[yaoi-queen.livejournal.com]

I noticed! XD I just read the report on one of my favorite films/book series, which of course got a really low score, because magic is pure evil.

I'm having a blast here! ;D I'm actually gonna quote a couple of paragraphs I just read in the first Harry Potter movie review; which I knew would get one of the worst scores ever. This shit is so ridiculous, I can't even fathom anyone taking that site seriously. Yet... people do. *sighs heavily*

[toggy.livejournal.com]

Hello, delicious consumer of all my time suddenly. It doesn't help that all my favorite movies are twisted without the help of fundies.

[toggy.livejournal.com]

Although, the review of Daredevil was surprisingly lenient. They didn't seem to notice the TWO mocking Christ-like poses Bullseye pulls, including one where he's got holes in his palms. Not to mention attacking a priest. Oh, and not to mention that the main character runs around in red biker leather, dressed as the devil...

....IGNORE ME.

[placetohide.livejournal.com]

lmao this website

bear threat, repeatedly
a horse turning into a toy
"Gay. Straight. It's all the same." (under "Impudence," lol)
threat to kill unless breasts are uncovered

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, you found some good ones! Yeah, the site is a riot. Some of the things they object to are utterly baffling!

[crimson-angel02.livejournal.com]

hypnosis of a toddler

What movie was this from?

The horror movie reviews are the best. I wish they had done Hostel. Now that would be a laugh to read what they found offensive. (Besides the whole movie. xD)

[koyaaniisqatsi.livejournal.com]

LMFAO.

[koyaaniisqatsi.livejournal.com]

OH HAHAHAHAHAHA @ this from the 101 Dalmatians (1996) movie.

"gross examination of a dog to determine its gender"

xDDDD

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

ROFL! Ahhhh MALES AND FEMALES HAVE DIFFERENT GENITALIA?! Examining such genitalia?!

CLEARLY NOT MORAL BEHAVIOR!