Duckling.

[pacificpikachu]

Eugenie's duckling is dead. It's all my fault. I feel so terrible about it, ughhh, I don't even know what to do. I decided to put Eugenie and the duckling in the sun in a separate little pen in the chicken coop so they didn't have to be in the stuffy henhouse any more. Birds can get in and out of that pen, including guinea fowl, but usually whatever I put in that pen stays fairly safe. The duckling was around two weeks old or something, but it was getting big, and Eugenie was doing a good job mothering it.

I went to check on them just now, just two or so hours after I put them out, and the baby was dead in the dirt with the back of its head pecked. Probably a victim of the guinea fowl or the male ducks or could've been pretty much any of the birds.

I just feel so terrible. I could've SO easily put it them somewhere safer, in the serama coop or the back yard, or just ANYWHERE else, and avoided all of this, but no, I thought they'd be okay there despite my better judgment. I feel so terrible about it, I'm crying and I have a headache. ;____; I'm so sorry little duckling, I'm so sorry... I didn't think your life would end like this. I feel so awful for Eugenie, this was her first duckling she ever hatched on her own and raised. It was thriving, just a little earlier it was playing in the water and it was so darn cute.

I HATE deaths like this, just hate them. I feel so bad. And then if I try to move on and have a good time despite what happens, I feel bad about that, too, like I'm doing the animal a disservice and not honoring its life even though moping around and crying my eyes out doesn't change anything or help anyone.

I should just go to dad's and get my package and work on sales and do everything I planned on doing today, but I just feel guilty and sad. The poor duckling didn't deserve to die that way at all... I just wish I could go back in time and put them somewhere else. If I had, the baby would have been alive and well still. I know could and should and woulds don't do any good, but I just can't help but regret and feel so upset about what happened.

Comments

[snowflaika.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry... I wish I had something say that would make you feel better but I know it's difficult at the moment. Please feel better soon :(

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Thanks, I'm starting to feel a little better... It's just so sad when a baby animal dies, especially when it's as a result of a decision I made. :( Everyone makes mistakes, though, even sad and tragic mistakes, so I'm trying my best to forgive myself and move on. Guilting myself over it isn't going to help anyone...

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the comforting thoughts. *Hugs* What you were saying is true, and beating myself up over it isn't going to do any good to anyone. I really should have expected that something like this would happen if I put them out there, but it was just a misjudgment and putting too much faith in the other birds. I just feel bad that the poor duckling had to die as a result--it was doing so well and was so happy. ;; I'm sure I'll move past it and be okay, even just a few hours later I'm feeling a bit better, but it's just one of those frustrating and heartbreaking parts of life that happen when one has as many animals as I do. Inevitably tragedies occur, no matter how hard I try to prevent them, and sometimes it can be hard to accept that. :(

[chosen-entity.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry this happened! *hugs* I know what it feels like when something like this happens. Same thing happened to me with Horus. :(

Things will get better, though, and you have so many other little ones to look out for. (I'm sure you'll have even more soon!) Call me if you need anything!

[straydogstarbck.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I'm really sorry to hear that! It sounds like you were only doing what you thought would be beneficial to them, though, and I don't think you'd ever knowingly put any of your birds in danger. Unfortunately accidents do happen, and you can't necessarily control unexpected aggression like that. *hugs* Being sad won't "help" anything, no, but grieving is normal and an essential part of dealing with things and moving on. Take the time to do so if you need to, and don't feel bad about doing enjoyable things when you feel up to it- it's not as if you just shrugged off the death or didn't feel anything for it.

I hope you feel better soon.

[koyaaniisqatsi.livejournal.com]

I'm really so sorry. :( Poor baby duckling. *hugs you* ♥♥♥