(no subject)

[pacificpikachu]

I feel kind of like I've been punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of me, with my three chickens dying. I was so attached to those three... I don't even know what to do with myself, and I feel so alone and weak and awful. I keep going into sobbing fits when I think about it. I know it may seem overly dramatic to speak this way about chickens, but to me they meant as much as any pet... I just feel like I can't cope with the fact that they're gone, and like I could have done something to save them. If only this, if only that, if only...

I ultimately don't know what killed them, but my mom thinks they starved because I didn't buy food for them on Friday and we ran out of food on Saturday. It's killing me. I dug them out of the garbage and they were still so beautiful in death, their bodies perfect and cold and their feathers in pristine condition... They had no food in their crops, but I don't know if they really did starve. I couldn't buy food, I had no money. I assumed my mom would buy food while I was gone, as she was taking care of them for the two days I was at my dad's spending time with friends. I didn't expect this to happen at all. I just want them back. I already miss them so, so, so much.

I can't quite describe it, but I just feel like with losing them, something in me cracked and I don't know how to repair it.

I'll be okay ultimately, there's not much I can do but move on and get some more old english when the time comes, but I'm just really really upset right now. I loved those three so much.

Comments

[kirarakim.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* losing a pet is hard (especially three) it's not silly at all to be sad. You obviously loved them.

Although I don't think you should beat yourself up about the why or thinking you could have done something different. If you could have prevented it you obviously would have. And it's not like you can stay home 24/7.

[pacificpikachu.livejournal.com]

*Hugs back* Thank you, it means a lot. It's really rough losing three at once, and especially because these three were among my favorites of all my chickens. They were so incredibly sweet and tiny and beautiful.

And yes, you're right--beating myself up about it being my fault won't do anything or help at all. These sorts of things sometimes just happen, and as devastating as they are, regret does nothing to change it and just makes a person feel worse.

[bjango.livejournal.com]

I'm really really sorry to hear that. Hang in there! I hope you feel better soon!

[trf-chan.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. ♥ It's terrible to have to lose one pet, to say nothing of three at the same time.

Don't dwell on the "what ifs" too much, though. I know that you take excellent care of your animals, and if you could have done anything, you would have. *hugs*

[mei-san.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry this happened. But like others said don't beat yourself up for it. I'm always amazed how you can keep up with so many of your pets!

[kneesocks.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that! :( It's so sad and terrible.. Please feel better soon, bb. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[slashaddict.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorrry for you ;_;

[sammywhatammy]

If there's anything I can do, let me know. I'm so sorry.

[koyaaniisqatsi.livejournal.com]

You don't sound overly dramatic at all, they were your pets and losing a pet is always difficult to handle. *cuddles* ♥♥