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Mar. 9th, 2009 02:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pacificpikachuWhat the hell, self. I'm way behind on labs and I couldn't even bring myself to work on a single lab over the weekend. Or any homework, actually. :/ I'm so frustrated with myself because I keep screwing myself over again and again on my work and it would be simple to just sit down and do the work (although it takes forever and I don't always know what I'm supposed to be doing on labs), but I just...can't bring myself to do it. I really wish I could just drop the course. I would have been okay if Tia hadn't died, but now that she did...I feel like I'm back to square one as far as general motivation and desire to work hard go. :( I could use a semester or two off to get my life together. The whole problem is insurance... My family can't really afford my insurance if I'm not a full-time student. But I suppose I can take full-time classes next semester and just take art classes and other easy classes. I don't know, I just...I'm not getting anywhere right now, like this. I need a break so I can get a job, get my sleep schedule sorted out, just...get everything organized and ready and have myself in a position where I feel ready to work hard.
I have to figure something out with Chemistry, though, and fairly fast.
It's not like I did nothing at all today, though--today was a cage-cleaning and other pet maintenance day. I always like the feeling of knowing all the animals have fresh food and water and their cages are clean. ♥
There's something somewhat depressing going on with the pheasant's leg at the moment, but I'd rather not discuss it as I'm rather frustrated about it. :( I'm trying to treat it as best as I can, though.
I went to see Milk last night! It was great, and so human and down-to-earth in the way it was told...and sad. Although I'm already active and vehement in my beliefs of equal rights for everyone, this emphasized it even more and I was stunned by how relevant and timely the movie was. Now if only it had been released before Prop 8, though people are so closed-minded who knows if it would have even made any difference then... It's sad that oftentimes the people who most need to see these sorts of movies are the people who never will because they're unwilling to open their minds enough to give it a chance. :( Anyway, great movie, and Sean Penn was indeed fantastic in it.
I also saw Religulous! Quite entertaining and I agree with pretty much everything Bill Maher said. Also, lots of interesting new information in it, so yay. :D Not that I can't be accepting of people who are religious at all, because I do think everyone has the right to believe whatever they would like to believe, but when it comes down to it it really is amazing to me how ridiculous most of the main religious texts and beliefs are. Even more than that, it's amazing to me how blindly so many people follow these doctrines or even things that weren't in those texts or beliefs to begin with. It's a shame how much political power and conflict is spawned by religion, when instead I think things like simple reason, logic, and compassion for others is enough to keep things together and reasonably harmonious... Or at least more together and harmonious than they are currently, anyway. I love being agnostic--it means that, instead of believing something someone else laid down for me an having to follow that, I am able to make my own decisions, judgments, and decide my own values based off the things I see and know and observe without having to try to fit absolutes into it. It's very freeing and makes me feel as though I can examine things from different angles and really come to my own conclusions and live my own life as I truly see fit.
Also, as I predicted would happen, I'm already on the hunt for another rescue dog. That's what I've always done when I lose an important pet. It's not a matter of "replacing" the other one by any means because no matter what we do there's that emptiness in the house for a while, but it's about giving another animal a new chance at life and having an animal to train and work on and integrate. It really does help me cope, because instead of facing the enormity of the loss all at once it allows me to keep busy and happy most of the time and cope with the loss a little bit at a time, mixed with the joy of saving another life. Ah, it's hard to describe, but it seems like half of the people I meet need to leave some time before getting another animal after losing their last one, and the other half are like me and almost have to find another to rescue before it sinks in all the way. Have several border collies I'm looking at on PetFinder, mostly in Reno and Davis, so we'll see what happens when I contact the rescue groups. I think we'll know who the right dog at the right time is once we get some information on the dogs and meet them and let Hana meet them.
Still very much in denial about Tia, but it's slowly and quietly sinking in, I think.
Ah, it's 3 AM and I have to be up at 8 AM at the latest... Better go to bed. :/
I have to figure something out with Chemistry, though, and fairly fast.
It's not like I did nothing at all today, though--today was a cage-cleaning and other pet maintenance day. I always like the feeling of knowing all the animals have fresh food and water and their cages are clean. ♥
There's something somewhat depressing going on with the pheasant's leg at the moment, but I'd rather not discuss it as I'm rather frustrated about it. :( I'm trying to treat it as best as I can, though.
I went to see Milk last night! It was great, and so human and down-to-earth in the way it was told...and sad. Although I'm already active and vehement in my beliefs of equal rights for everyone, this emphasized it even more and I was stunned by how relevant and timely the movie was. Now if only it had been released before Prop 8, though people are so closed-minded who knows if it would have even made any difference then... It's sad that oftentimes the people who most need to see these sorts of movies are the people who never will because they're unwilling to open their minds enough to give it a chance. :( Anyway, great movie, and Sean Penn was indeed fantastic in it.
I also saw Religulous! Quite entertaining and I agree with pretty much everything Bill Maher said. Also, lots of interesting new information in it, so yay. :D Not that I can't be accepting of people who are religious at all, because I do think everyone has the right to believe whatever they would like to believe, but when it comes down to it it really is amazing to me how ridiculous most of the main religious texts and beliefs are. Even more than that, it's amazing to me how blindly so many people follow these doctrines or even things that weren't in those texts or beliefs to begin with. It's a shame how much political power and conflict is spawned by religion, when instead I think things like simple reason, logic, and compassion for others is enough to keep things together and reasonably harmonious... Or at least more together and harmonious than they are currently, anyway. I love being agnostic--it means that, instead of believing something someone else laid down for me an having to follow that, I am able to make my own decisions, judgments, and decide my own values based off the things I see and know and observe without having to try to fit absolutes into it. It's very freeing and makes me feel as though I can examine things from different angles and really come to my own conclusions and live my own life as I truly see fit.
Also, as I predicted would happen, I'm already on the hunt for another rescue dog. That's what I've always done when I lose an important pet. It's not a matter of "replacing" the other one by any means because no matter what we do there's that emptiness in the house for a while, but it's about giving another animal a new chance at life and having an animal to train and work on and integrate. It really does help me cope, because instead of facing the enormity of the loss all at once it allows me to keep busy and happy most of the time and cope with the loss a little bit at a time, mixed with the joy of saving another life. Ah, it's hard to describe, but it seems like half of the people I meet need to leave some time before getting another animal after losing their last one, and the other half are like me and almost have to find another to rescue before it sinks in all the way. Have several border collies I'm looking at on PetFinder, mostly in Reno and Davis, so we'll see what happens when I contact the rescue groups. I think we'll know who the right dog at the right time is once we get some information on the dogs and meet them and let Hana meet them.
Still very much in denial about Tia, but it's slowly and quietly sinking in, I think.
Ah, it's 3 AM and I have to be up at 8 AM at the latest... Better go to bed. :/
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 10:55 am (UTC)I'm glad there's someone else out there who has this motivational problem (Well, not glad, becuase it's a shitty thing to have but....you're not alone, at least D: ) We can get through it though!
And Religulous! I've been wanting to see that! (I just remembered it existed, lol, but I do remember seeing the trailers and giggling)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 11:52 am (UTC)Oh, you should! It's amusing and thoughtful--I quite enjoyed it!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 09:05 pm (UTC)Dustin Lance Black and I are going to get married if I mysteriously turn into a guy one of these days! D:
And I totally understand about you getting another rescue dog (GREAT CHOICE!). If my dog passed away, I'd definitely use the open spot in my house to give another dog a home.
You're a good person. ;~;
no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-09 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-10 12:58 am (UTC)Your way of coping by rescueing another dog-- that's so good of you. And amazing that you can take a negative experience and still do more good for others despite your loss. The world is lucky to have you. ♥
I hope everything sorts itself out soon, with schoolwork and the pheasant and all.. take care!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-10 03:05 am (UTC)