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Jan. 19th, 2008 11:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pacificpikachuUgh, my subconscious is completely messed-up.
My mom has a friend named Alexia who had a baby a little over a year ago. You need to know this information to understand the dream.
So, I was going to stay with Alexia in the Bay Area, even though Alexia doesn't live in the Bay Area and I don't know why I'd ever go stay with her--especially because she has a baby, and I have a baby phobia.
For some entirely unknown reason, I decided before I left on the trip that I was going to murder her baby. I started planning it out, but I couldn't figure out how I'd be able to get away with it. For some reason, this didn't really bother me. I felt strangely brave and noble for thinking about killing the baby. I wanted to do it. I'm not sure why. I just did.
I stayed at Alexia's (it was dark, quiet, kind of dingy there) for quite a while, and finally the time came that my mom was going to be back to pick me up around twelve hours or something.
The baby was upstairs in this more-or-less blank and dark room (like one of the rooms in the old hospital in Ghost Hound), just sleeping or whatever, and I haven't the faintest idea where Alexia was. I don't even know if she was home. I get the feeling she wasn't. I decided it was time to put my plan in action. I was kind of freaked-out, but I felt emboldened.
I don't remember how I killed her. It was something really brutal, no doubt, not smothering or anything like that. I was disgusted at the next step, but once I started my plan, I couldn't stop, could I? I dismembered the body and chopped it up (but not very well--the arms and such were still intact), and then grilled the pieces on a skillet until they were blackened. Then I put them in between two patties as if it was burger meat, wrapped the "burger" in some clear wrap, and put it in the refrigerator. It made for a big burger, and you could see the blackened arms stuffed in there and everything. I have no idea how I thought this would be a good cover, but I figured she'd try to eat the burger or something. O_o;
For a while, I felt pretty content with myself, accomplished, but then I realized what I had done and got disgusted and wondered why I had done it. Alexia still didn't seem to be home when my mom picked me up. As I got in the car, I immediately said, "I did something horrible," and proceeded to tell the whole story. Strangely, my mom didn't seem particularly bothered about it, and didn't want to talk about it. At some points in the drive home, she would turn the happy, upbeat Pokémon music she had on up to drown out me wondering what I was going to do, how fast I would get caught, etc. She never reprimanded me or anything. She said something like "Oh, well, it'll be okay" but that's about it.
The whole drive home was filled with huge fields of sunflowers, bright, sunny, blue skies, almost disturbingly cheerful and beautiful.
The end.
And this, f-list, is why I say a doctor should take away my reproductive organs as soon as possible. XD
Seriously, though, with the whole "burger" thing, I wonder if this dream has something to do with my vegetarianism and how I consider killing an animal just as bad as killing a human. It seems to have some undertones of that, though I didn't think about that at all in the dream.
My mom has a friend named Alexia who had a baby a little over a year ago. You need to know this information to understand the dream.
So, I was going to stay with Alexia in the Bay Area, even though Alexia doesn't live in the Bay Area and I don't know why I'd ever go stay with her--especially because she has a baby, and I have a baby phobia.
For some entirely unknown reason, I decided before I left on the trip that I was going to murder her baby. I started planning it out, but I couldn't figure out how I'd be able to get away with it. For some reason, this didn't really bother me. I felt strangely brave and noble for thinking about killing the baby. I wanted to do it. I'm not sure why. I just did.
I stayed at Alexia's (it was dark, quiet, kind of dingy there) for quite a while, and finally the time came that my mom was going to be back to pick me up around twelve hours or something.
The baby was upstairs in this more-or-less blank and dark room (like one of the rooms in the old hospital in Ghost Hound), just sleeping or whatever, and I haven't the faintest idea where Alexia was. I don't even know if she was home. I get the feeling she wasn't. I decided it was time to put my plan in action. I was kind of freaked-out, but I felt emboldened.
I don't remember how I killed her. It was something really brutal, no doubt, not smothering or anything like that. I was disgusted at the next step, but once I started my plan, I couldn't stop, could I? I dismembered the body and chopped it up (but not very well--the arms and such were still intact), and then grilled the pieces on a skillet until they were blackened. Then I put them in between two patties as if it was burger meat, wrapped the "burger" in some clear wrap, and put it in the refrigerator. It made for a big burger, and you could see the blackened arms stuffed in there and everything. I have no idea how I thought this would be a good cover, but I figured she'd try to eat the burger or something. O_o;
For a while, I felt pretty content with myself, accomplished, but then I realized what I had done and got disgusted and wondered why I had done it. Alexia still didn't seem to be home when my mom picked me up. As I got in the car, I immediately said, "I did something horrible," and proceeded to tell the whole story. Strangely, my mom didn't seem particularly bothered about it, and didn't want to talk about it. At some points in the drive home, she would turn the happy, upbeat Pokémon music she had on up to drown out me wondering what I was going to do, how fast I would get caught, etc. She never reprimanded me or anything. She said something like "Oh, well, it'll be okay" but that's about it.
The whole drive home was filled with huge fields of sunflowers, bright, sunny, blue skies, almost disturbingly cheerful and beautiful.
The end.
And this, f-list, is why I say a doctor should take away my reproductive organs as soon as possible. XD
Seriously, though, with the whole "burger" thing, I wonder if this dream has something to do with my vegetarianism and how I consider killing an animal just as bad as killing a human. It seems to have some undertones of that, though I didn't think about that at all in the dream.
