On Fanworks
Dec. 2nd, 2012 01:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pacificpikachuI haven't been in Naruto fandom for years, and I doubt I'll ever return to the fandom. I have no harsh feelings towards it at all, and in fact I have a bunch of happy memories and good friends I've made and great fanfiction I read, and I'll never regret being in the fandom despite the flack it gets at times (much of it justified, heh). I just have very little interest in it now. Maybe ten years from now my love for it will be mysteriously rekindled or something, but for now...meh. That said, I probably will finish the series if it ever ends, haha, just so I can know how it ends and see how gay Naruto and Sasuke are for each other ultimately.
None of this is the point, but I'm good at rambling.
I'm reading over the three Naruto fanfics I wrote and...orz, they're a lot better than I remember/give myself credit for. I periodically go back and read them again and just go, "I wrote this?" Sometimes I think my writing has gotten worse rather than better, but that's probably not true (I hope?). Still, I feel like I can learn from my previous writing and it's really fascinating to go back and read it now that I have more objectivity. I don't mean this in a bragging sense, but I am legitimately surprised sometimes by my own writing. I guess I don't give myself enough credit. When writing, I often feel that it all seems awkward and weird, but once you step outside of your own head and give yourself some time to shut off the inner critic, it's better than expected.
Amazingly enough, I can even do this with Pokémon fanfiction I wrote when I was between 10 and 15 years old. Sure, there's some of it that I roll my eyes at. I went through a flowery phase, like I think many young writers do. I facepalm at a few things, especially in the first fanfic I wrote. But, surprisingly, somehow much of it still holds up.
There's one story that I wrote when I was around 14-15, that I would really love to finish. Maybe someday I will. That one holds up really well and I feel bad that I stopped updating it. I still get reviews all almost a decade later asking me to finish it. I might!
I don't think I can ever write as insanely beautifully as my favorite author (Peter S. Beagle) does, but I think that, like most artists of all kinds, I'm also often unnecessarily critical of myself. That's why it's fascinating to go back and read writing after I've basically forgotten about it and see a richness there that I maybe couldn't see when I was writing it.
During NaNo, I got a bit distracted and went back and read a little of Dust and Ashes, the fanfic I wrote 50k of for last years' NaNo (my only NaNoFanfic so far), and, while at the time I was convinced that it was stilted and icky and awkward, reading the first several pages of it back I was more impressed than I expected. (The beginning of it made me really emotional, actually.) Another story I'd like to finish. I've had that idea for around thirteen years now, eek.
Fanfiction and fanart get a bad rep, and I can understand why. So much of it is godawful (but the same goes for original works), and ultimately it is derivative. However, at least for me, fanfiction and fanart are extremely valid. If not for them, I definitely would not be as serious about writing and art as I am. I definitely would not have written as much or drawn as much or read as much or thought as much. I've grown a lot over the years through fandom. I wouldn't have read and seen so many terrible works that helped me to gain what I believe is pretty good taste in creative works, and understanding why things are good or bad and what makes them that way. I wouldn't have had my eyes opened, at a very young age, that ordinary people--just people on the internet, not authors or anyone published, and even kids--can write things of great beauty, humor, meaning, etc., just because they love something. I grew up reading books upon books upon books, but I never became a real writer until I discovered fanfiction. It pushed me into wanting to actually write.
This may strike some people as immature, but to me, I feel most happy and free creatively when I'm working on fanworks. Try as hard as I might, and as much as I absolutely encourage and believe in creating original works (otherwise what would we base fanworks off of, LOL?), I feel that fanworks (and specifically Pokémon fanworks, though other series, too) are what I truly love to work on, more than original things. I've had a great time doing original works, I will never stop doing original stories and art pieces, but somehow, strangely, I get more fulfillment from creating fanworks. It's not the built-in audience, either, it's something innate. I think it has to do with being able to skip over the introductions, skip over the set up, work within an existing framework, and skip right to exactly what I want to write about. The context is already there. I already care about the characters, or if I created new characters they already have a world around them. The framework somehow makes me more free, as weird as that is. I swear I've come up with the craziest variety of mind-twisting, bizarre, interesting, and drastically varying ideas for Pokémon fanfiction, which I can't seem to muster at all in original pieces. (Not that my original stuff is bad--it's good, but it doesn't give me quite the same zeal.)
I'd probably agree with people who put down fanworks, on some level. I can understand where they're coming from (though if you try to say all fanworks are awful, I'd bristle). I think there is something to be said for creating your own characters, own world, all out of your own mind. It's admirable! I've done it, and I will continue to do so! But that said, everything is ultimately derivative. Original works, too. What is art but the same many tropes over and over again, presented in different ways? Being derivative does not necessarily invalidate art of being artistic or meaningful.
But, art is art, and fanworks and original works alike are pieces of art created out of love, passion, and enthusiasm. Even if 99% of something is bad, that doesn't invalidate the other 1%.
If you made it this far, do you have any thoughts on this matter? I'd be curious to hear them.
Well, I only meant to write a few paragraphs of personal things there, but that sure broadened in focus. And got slightly long. O___o
And here I still have another art-focused entry that I'm writing, so I don't know where all of this is coming from all of the sudden.
I do know that I'm sleep-deprived, though, so goodnight!
None of this is the point, but I'm good at rambling.
I'm reading over the three Naruto fanfics I wrote and...orz, they're a lot better than I remember/give myself credit for. I periodically go back and read them again and just go, "I wrote this?" Sometimes I think my writing has gotten worse rather than better, but that's probably not true (I hope?). Still, I feel like I can learn from my previous writing and it's really fascinating to go back and read it now that I have more objectivity. I don't mean this in a bragging sense, but I am legitimately surprised sometimes by my own writing. I guess I don't give myself enough credit. When writing, I often feel that it all seems awkward and weird, but once you step outside of your own head and give yourself some time to shut off the inner critic, it's better than expected.
Amazingly enough, I can even do this with Pokémon fanfiction I wrote when I was between 10 and 15 years old. Sure, there's some of it that I roll my eyes at. I went through a flowery phase, like I think many young writers do. I facepalm at a few things, especially in the first fanfic I wrote. But, surprisingly, somehow much of it still holds up.
There's one story that I wrote when I was around 14-15, that I would really love to finish. Maybe someday I will. That one holds up really well and I feel bad that I stopped updating it. I still get reviews all almost a decade later asking me to finish it. I might!
I don't think I can ever write as insanely beautifully as my favorite author (Peter S. Beagle) does, but I think that, like most artists of all kinds, I'm also often unnecessarily critical of myself. That's why it's fascinating to go back and read writing after I've basically forgotten about it and see a richness there that I maybe couldn't see when I was writing it.
During NaNo, I got a bit distracted and went back and read a little of Dust and Ashes, the fanfic I wrote 50k of for last years' NaNo (my only NaNoFanfic so far), and, while at the time I was convinced that it was stilted and icky and awkward, reading the first several pages of it back I was more impressed than I expected. (The beginning of it made me really emotional, actually.) Another story I'd like to finish. I've had that idea for around thirteen years now, eek.
Fanfiction and fanart get a bad rep, and I can understand why. So much of it is godawful (but the same goes for original works), and ultimately it is derivative. However, at least for me, fanfiction and fanart are extremely valid. If not for them, I definitely would not be as serious about writing and art as I am. I definitely would not have written as much or drawn as much or read as much or thought as much. I've grown a lot over the years through fandom. I wouldn't have read and seen so many terrible works that helped me to gain what I believe is pretty good taste in creative works, and understanding why things are good or bad and what makes them that way. I wouldn't have had my eyes opened, at a very young age, that ordinary people--just people on the internet, not authors or anyone published, and even kids--can write things of great beauty, humor, meaning, etc., just because they love something. I grew up reading books upon books upon books, but I never became a real writer until I discovered fanfiction. It pushed me into wanting to actually write.
This may strike some people as immature, but to me, I feel most happy and free creatively when I'm working on fanworks. Try as hard as I might, and as much as I absolutely encourage and believe in creating original works (otherwise what would we base fanworks off of, LOL?), I feel that fanworks (and specifically Pokémon fanworks, though other series, too) are what I truly love to work on, more than original things. I've had a great time doing original works, I will never stop doing original stories and art pieces, but somehow, strangely, I get more fulfillment from creating fanworks. It's not the built-in audience, either, it's something innate. I think it has to do with being able to skip over the introductions, skip over the set up, work within an existing framework, and skip right to exactly what I want to write about. The context is already there. I already care about the characters, or if I created new characters they already have a world around them. The framework somehow makes me more free, as weird as that is. I swear I've come up with the craziest variety of mind-twisting, bizarre, interesting, and drastically varying ideas for Pokémon fanfiction, which I can't seem to muster at all in original pieces. (Not that my original stuff is bad--it's good, but it doesn't give me quite the same zeal.)
I'd probably agree with people who put down fanworks, on some level. I can understand where they're coming from (though if you try to say all fanworks are awful, I'd bristle). I think there is something to be said for creating your own characters, own world, all out of your own mind. It's admirable! I've done it, and I will continue to do so! But that said, everything is ultimately derivative. Original works, too. What is art but the same many tropes over and over again, presented in different ways? Being derivative does not necessarily invalidate art of being artistic or meaningful.
But, art is art, and fanworks and original works alike are pieces of art created out of love, passion, and enthusiasm. Even if 99% of something is bad, that doesn't invalidate the other 1%.
If you made it this far, do you have any thoughts on this matter? I'd be curious to hear them.
Well, I only meant to write a few paragraphs of personal things there, but that sure broadened in focus. And got slightly long. O___o
And here I still have another art-focused entry that I'm writing, so I don't know where all of this is coming from all of the sudden.
I do know that I'm sleep-deprived, though, so goodnight!
