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Aug. 6th, 2012 11:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pacificpikachuI think Tosca might be gone for good. I'm not ready to face this yet, not at all, so for now I'm just distracting myself, and not allowing myself to think about it. I know that once I let go of this barrier, my heart is going to break, and I just don't know how I'm going to handle it. It's been forty-eight hours.
I woke up last night at 4:41 AM from a dead sleep. I almost never wake up like that, once I'm asleep nothing wakes me up. Everything was silent. I was shaking from an ominous feeling I had. Suddenly, it was like I knew what happened--that a bobcat came, and took Tosca and Swordfish and Molly. All the clumps of feathers, it seems like a bobcat kill to me. Of course, I don't know if that's true, but I feel like that's what happened.
I can't cope with it yet, though. I just... I love Tosca so much, and the thought of her being gone for good... I can't handle it right now. I already lost my beloved Swordfish and Molly. It'll hit me at some point if she doesn't come back, but it hurts so much to even consider it, fleetingly, on a shallow level.
I tried so hard to keep her as an indoor cat because of the sad memories of losing Cleo, my tortoiseshell kitty, to a car when she was only a year old. In the end, Tosca made her own choice to let herself out. She always let herself out.
I woke up last night at 4:41 AM from a dead sleep. I almost never wake up like that, once I'm asleep nothing wakes me up. Everything was silent. I was shaking from an ominous feeling I had. Suddenly, it was like I knew what happened--that a bobcat came, and took Tosca and Swordfish and Molly. All the clumps of feathers, it seems like a bobcat kill to me. Of course, I don't know if that's true, but I feel like that's what happened.
I can't cope with it yet, though. I just... I love Tosca so much, and the thought of her being gone for good... I can't handle it right now. I already lost my beloved Swordfish and Molly. It'll hit me at some point if she doesn't come back, but it hurts so much to even consider it, fleetingly, on a shallow level.
I tried so hard to keep her as an indoor cat because of the sad memories of losing Cleo, my tortoiseshell kitty, to a car when she was only a year old. In the end, Tosca made her own choice to let herself out. She always let herself out.
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Date: 2012-08-07 07:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-07 02:32 pm (UTC)My Mom and I took our one cat, Victor to the vets. As soon as we got in the parking lot, he got out of my arms and took off towards the woods. Yes, it was our fault for not having Victor in a carrier. The vets office said they would put food out and would let us know if Victor showed up. Days became weeks, which soon turned into months and we gave up all hope.
One day, while I was out tending to the horses, I saw a cat sitting beside the pasture that could of been Victor's twin. It was in fact him!! Believe it or not, Victor traveled many miles and even had to cross a river to return home to us!!
Who knows, maybe Tosca will show-up at one of the local shelters?! *hugs*